because i can't

if your religion of choice happens to be some denomination of Christianity, then i am guessing you are aware of the fact that we are currently in the season of Lent. and what is Lent if not that time of the church year that we do a lot of self-examination. and i don't know about you, but i have a pretty good list of things i am not particularly proud of.

we are taught that we will be tempted to do things we aren't supposed to do. the correct choice would be, of course, to walk away from these things when we're tempted. sometimes we make the right choice, but there are a whole lot of times we don't. or i know i don't anyway.

the focus two Sundays ago was on the Temptation of Christ. i've probably heard this "story" hundreds of times over the course of my life. it's always been pretty easy to say "Jesus is perfect, He's God, of course He resisted temptation!" end of story. i forget, in light of knowing Jesus is perfect, that when He was here on Earth, He was a man. a human being. He got to experience life on Earth just like i do. including being tempted. and the challenge lies in the fact that in order to save us from ourselves, He had to *be* like us. He had to be human & face the things we face & not just call about His divine perfection & almighty power to bail Himself out when the day-to-day got unpleasant.

so anyway, as the Bible tells us, Satan tempts Jesus three times. and he waits until Jesus is in a pretty vulnerable human state -- after spending forty days & nights in the wilderness, hot, tired, hungry, thirsty. i know i am not at my best when *i* am hot, tired, hungry or thirsty, let alone more than one at the same time. and i often "suffer" these things surrounded by creature comforts, without the benefit of sitting in the wilderness for over a month. so, suffice to say Satan picked a mighty fine time to tempt.

knowing Jesus was hungry, he pointed out that there were some stones here & surely the Son of God could turn those stones into bread. as my own stomach growls, i am thinking that the human body might have been willing to just start gnawing on the stones themselves at that point, so how difficult is it to know you have the power to fulfill your own needs right there on the spot? Jesus didn't bite.

so the Devil decides to try something else. he takes Jesus to the top of the Temple & starts taunting Him a little. the Son of God should be able to throw Himself down off this high point & suffer no harm, because God will protect Him. crafty little serpent, that Satan is. he even quoted Scripture to back this up. "says right here..." except that we aren't supposed to ask God to give us proof, and jumping off a building after reading that God will protect us isn't going to have a happy ending. once again Jesus shakes His head & says that isn't how this works.

not to be out done, Satan gives it one more shot. takes Christ to the highest mountain to show Him all the kingdoms & riches of the world. tells Jesus all that can be His -- for the one low price of bowing down & worshipping him. irony being that the world wasn't Satan's to offer as a prize in the first place, but on top of that, he was offering it to the rightful owner. that's like me taking your most prized possession & saying "i'll give this to you if you do what i want." what?! but that's what the Devil does. he makes a lot of foolish empty promises. too bad we don't see through more of them, like Jesus did...

anyway. Jesus 3, Satan 0. but i was just reading a sermon online -- One of Us -- that really put into perspective for me *why* this took place. Jesus didn't resist all these temptations because He's God and He can. He came, felt what we feel, hurt like we hurt, struggled like we struggle, died like we die -- but then came out the other side of it, victorious, *for* us because we can't.

"Why didn’t Jesus turn stones into bread? Because you can’t.
Why didn’t Jesus jump off the Temple? Because you can’t.
Why didn’t Jesus take the short cut to glory? Because you can’t.
Why did Jesus pay for all your sins on the cross? Because you can’t."

i read those four lines & all of a sudden thought... whoa. it's funny how you can grow up in a Christian faith, go to a Christian school for ten years, go to church regularly, hear all the Bible stories... and still have so much you don't know. and sometimes how much i don't know & how many times i make an enormous mess out of myself because i just cannot walk away from whatever temptation the Devil cooks up, leaves me feeling pretty small. and, well... not very good about myself. i look in the mirror and think "girl? you are not a very good or nice person. not really." but i can keep on trying because i've got a great ally:

"Your hunger and thirst, your predicament of having to trust God, your dangerous option to make deals with the devil, your requirement to know God through what IS WRITTEN. He didn’t come to save super-Christians who have convinced themselves that they are like Him. He came to save those who see temptation as a wild beast that will swallow them whole, a monster for whom they are no match."

this particular sermon really struck me. it reminds me how much i fail on my own, and how much hope i have because i do not have to do it on my own. and i just needed to get this reminder down, somewhere accessible, because Lord knows i need reminding.

as you were.