No more time to waste.

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna take it

I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting
To wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
(from "Wasted," Carrie Underwood)

Four years since I made the decision that my days, my heart and my energy were too precious to continue spending with little to show but hollow tears. And life has been nothing short of beautiful since.

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my 30s: the mantra

back on my thirtieth birthday, i made a little decision with myself that i'd make Tim McGraw's "My Next Thirty Years" the mantra of my thirties. this is my fourth birthday in the decade that starts with "three" & i'm still going strong. i love my thirties *way* better than i ever did my twenties!

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

My next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done
Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years

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Grace in Small Things 164:365

1. hearing a church full of people singing The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

2. i have thoroughly enjoyed Sean Casey filling in on NESN with Don Orsillo. nothing tops Remy, but while he's recuperating, we've been generally fortunate with replacements. Eck has kept things interesting and don't get me wrong, i love everything Dave Roberts means in Boston after 2004 but he is just a bit too stiff from inexperience, but Sean Casey has, by far, been my favorite booth fill-in. just listening to him makes me happy.

3. tomorrow may be Monday but it kicks off a three-day work week for me. three days is totally do-able. (remind me of this when i get back on the 13th and am in shock & awe regarding the disaster area once known as my desk.)

4. the shade of blue that the sky turns on a Summer night as the twilight lingers til almost 9pm.

5. hearing a song that makes me smile that i haven't heard in a long while:
I laid in bed that night and thought about the day
And how my life is like a roller coaster ride
The ups and downs and crazy turns along the way
It'll throw you off if you don't hold on tight
You can't really smile until you've shed some tears
I could die today or I might live on for years

I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautful life
(from "Awful Beautiful Life," by Darryl Worley)



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Grace in Small Things 139:365

let's call this the commute edition!

1. now that school is out for the Summer, my morning commute is so much easier with the lighter traffic.

2. i love that i have friends who won't bat an eye when i ask them to text me in ten minutes, reminding me to stop at CVS on the way home, after i've driven straight home on autopilot the last two days, forgetting to stop.

3. it's such a relief when the sun goes behind a cloud & i can drive home without squinting into the glare.

4. when the iPod picks good songs & i don't have to skip a single one that i'm just not in the mood to listen to.

5. singing along to "Sweet Surrender" (Sarah McLachlan) at the top of my lungs--and on your Grace list could be that you weren't there to hear *that* little treat. ;-)
It doesn't mean much
It doesn't mean anything at all
The life I've left behind me
Is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
From where I can't return
Where every step
I took in faith
Betrayed me...


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Grace in Small Things 130:365

1. vacuum lines on the carpet.

2. recalling the words i still retain in my vocabulary after four years of high school French. for the record, i can say: "do you speak French?" "yes" "no" "at the pool" "at the library" "potato" and "i have a hangover."

3. i found a very cool Photo Hunt challenge to join, thanks to my good friend K!

4. the new printer at work is finally functional.

5. these lyrics, because i know how true they are.
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over, you'll breathe again
("Crash and Burn," Savage Garden)


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Easter Sunday

He lives triumphant from the grave;
He lives eternally to save;
He lives all glorious in the sky;
He lives exalted there on high.

He lives to silence all my fears;
He lives to wipe away my tears;
He lives to calm my troubled heart;
He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives my kind, wise, heav'nly friend;
He lives and loves me to the end;
He lives and while He lives I'll sing;
He lives, my Prophet, Priest and King!

He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives and I shall conquer death;
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives, all glory to His name!
He lives my Jesus still the same;
Oh the sweet joy this sentence gives:
I know that my Redeemer lives!
("I Know That My Redeemer Lives" v 2, 5-8)

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Palm Sunday

All glory, laud, and honor
To Thee, Redeemer, King,
To whom the lips of children
Made sweet hosannas ring.
The people of the Hebrews
With palms before thee went;
Pur praise and prayer and anthems
Before Thee we present.

All glory, laud, and honor
To Thee, Redeemer, King,
To whom the lips of children
Made sweet hosannas ring.
To Thee, before Thy Passion,
They sang their hymns of praise;
To Thee, now High exalted,
Our melody we raise.

(All Glory, Laud, and Honor, v. 3 and 4)

19 Palm Sundays ago, i was confirmed... whoa.

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Grace in Small Things 61:365

1. big puffy clouds that look like they were painted onto the sky.

2. this prayer that Lil Foots Mommy shared, because sometimes we just need the reminder...
Lord, thank you for everything you’ve given me.
Thank you for everything you’ve taken away.
And thank you for all that I have left.

3. Sox-Yankees on MLBN on a night that the President is pre-empting everything else that i would watch anyway. (that's right. i'm the girl that looks for something else to watch when the President takes up all the network channels.)

4. a random postcard in the mail from Vanessa!

5. hearing these lyrics & knowing that i have this in my world, going both ways. i am a lucky girl.
I know your heart can get
All tangled up inside
But don't you keep it to yourself
When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world
Is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me
("Bring It On Home," Little Big Town)


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Grace in Small Things 57:365

1. Turns out not where but who you're with
That really matters
("The Best of What's Around," Dave Matthews Band)

2. SPRING!! i may not get traditional seasons but i do my best to make them change by the way i decorate and the candle scents i burn. it's all in the details.

3. Spring issue of Kraft Food & Family magazine.

4. this quote that arrived in my inbox via Real Simple's Daily Thought:
The beautiful is everywhere.
(Fernand Léger)

5. my planner. i *love* my planner.


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Grace in Small Things 49:365

1. April issue of Real Simple!

2. the way the sun shines through the low-lying fog, making it look like golden spun sugar.

3. this quote:
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

4. the unexpected people who show up on Facebook.

5. turning up this song in the car on the way home from work (where everyone was a crankypants yesterday) & singing along just blasts away any chance of letting the bad moods of others spoil my cheerfulness:

She's not afraid
She just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid
True religion gets it all
If they fit right
She's a little bit manic
Completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part

She's old enough to know
And young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets
For home plate tickets to see the Mets
Like everybody she's in over her head
Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead,
And doesn't take meds

She's a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn
I don't agree with her half the time
But damn I'm glad she's mine

Her eyes
That's where hope lies
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise
Her eyes
That's where I go
When I go home

She got the kinda strength
That every man wishes he had
She loved Michael Jackson
Up until he made Bad

Tells me that she lived
About a hundred lives
Scares me to death
When she thinks and drives
Says cowboy hats
Make her look fat
And I'm so glad she's mine.

Her eyes
That's where hope lies
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise
Her eyes
That's where I go
When I go home

She doesn't know the word 'impossible'
Don't care where I've been
And doesn't care where we're goin' to
She takes me as I am
And that ain't easy
And she's beautiful...
So beautiful

And sometimes I think she's truly crazy
And I love it

Her eyes
That's where hope lies
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise
Her eyes
That's where I go
When I go home

Her eyes
That's where hope lies
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise
Her eyes
That's where I go
When I go home

She's not afraid
She just likes to use her night light
("Her Eyes," Pat Monahan)


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Grace in Small Things 30:365

1. freshly trimmed hair.

2. the deep blue of the sky reflected in a lake on a sunny morning.

3. even though i drive a pretty good distance to get my hair done every six weeks, i actually love the drive there. most of the roads are lightly travelled and the scenery is beautiful. it's a totally peaceful drive, especially early in the morning.

4. He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad

He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
("My Baby Loves Me," Martina McBride)

5. my laptop.


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Grace in Small Things 23:365

1. a freshly cleaned apartment.

2. leftovers. yummy food for lunch with no effort needed!

3. inside jokes.

4. "A good heart is better than all the heads in the world."
(Edward Bulwer-Lytton)

5. We all live with the scars we choose
They might hurt like hell
But they all make us stronger

If you want it, come and get it
If you want it, come and get it
But understand
You take me as I am.

I'm slow to trust but I'm quick to love
I push too hard and I give too much
I ain't saying I'm perfect
But I promise I'm worth it
("Take Me As I Am," Sugarland)


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Grace in Small Things 5:365

1. lists. i love lists. i have tons of them going at any one time. some are meant to be short-lived, others to be added to over time. some recorded in one way or another, while others are just tucked into the back of my mind.

2. i almost always keep my iPod on shuffle of all the songs i have on it. i love when Alan Jackson singing "How Great Thou Art" pops up randomly. i have it on there because it reminds me of my Gram and i can hear her sweet soprano in my mind, singing along, just as she used to spontaneously break out into song while working in the kitchen:

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

3. pajamas.

4. my February issue of Redbook in the mail.

5. windows open, letting in fresh cool air.


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Sing Along: January 15, 2009

Well, some things in this world you just can't change
Some things you can't see until it gets too late

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I'm up against
Out in this world
And maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
("Bright Lights," Matchbox Twenty)

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in memory. 6 years.

not a Southern man, but the rest of these lyrics fit my Gramp to the letter...

Callous hands told the story
For this small town Southern man
He gave it all to keep it all together
And keep his family on his land
Like his daddy, years wore out his body
Made it hard just to walk and stand
You can break the back
But you can't break the spirit
Of a small town Southern man

And he bowed his head to Jesus
And he stood for Uncle Sam
And he only loved one woman
Was always proud of what he had
He said his greatest contribution
Is the ones you leave behind
Raised on the ways and gentle kindness
Of a small town Southern man

Finally death came callin'
For this small town Southern man
He said it's alright 'cause I see angels
And they got me by the hand
Don't you cry, and don't you worry
I'm blessed, and I know I am
'Cause God has a place in Heaven
For a small town Southern man
(from "Small Town Southern Man," by Alan Jackson)


Walter Radke
January 30, 1918-January 6, 2003

miss you.

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Sing Along: December 5, 2008

If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you
("Song for a Winter's Night," Sarah McLachlan)

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Sing Along: November 21, 2008

I was waiting
For the day you'd come around.
I was chasing
And nothing was all I found.
From the moment you came into my life
You showed me what's right
("Feels Like Tonight," Daughtry)

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Sing Along: November 6, 2008

Look at me
Can't believe
I finally made it here
Feeling like I'm where I belong
Singing my hallelujah song

Hard to find
Took some time
But I think that I might be hittin'
On what's been missing
All along
Singing my hallelujah song

It's a highway sliding through a Sunday afternoon
It's a snapshot smiling like we ain't got nothing to lose...

...Hard to find
Took some time
But I never was by myself
There were angels helping me
All along
Singing my hallelujah song
("My Hallelujah Song," Julianne Hough)

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i miss my Gram today =(

February 4, 1917 - October 20, 2001


I will see you
In the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you
In the sound of the waves
I will know you
When we come as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave
("Sand and Water," Beth Neilsen Chapman)

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Sing Along: October 8, 2009

Since the moment I spotted you,
Like walking round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies...
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Everytime I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out that everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say 'why don't you and I get together
And take on the world
And be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again'
So I say 'why don't you and I hold each other
And fly to the moon
And straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never going to let me in'
("Why Don't You and I," Santana featuring Chad Kroeger)

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