And I Quote: April 3, 2007

Denny: I smell perfume, petroleum jelly, and duct tape. There are beauty queens on the premises!

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Judge: Step up here, Counsel.
Alan: This is never good when they ask me to step up.

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Disgruntled Man: You got a conference room?
Denny: Conference room? I have a Gulf Stream!

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Judge: Well well well. And what lessons have we learned today?
Alan: Standing here, I've learned that you smell like cheese.

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Alan: I'm certainly no expert on marriage, and of relationships in general. Personally, I'm... well... disabled. But from what I heard going on in this cell today, you and Harriet seem to love each other very much. I suspect the anger she feels can only come from love. And, well, as the resident big mouth, I think it's my duty to say, don't let her give up on you. I know you won't give up on her, but don't let her give up on you.