i'm going to rant. consider yourself warned.

you know what really chaps my hide?

Rays "fans".

seriously. you've watched baseball for, what? three months out of your whole life? up until last August, you didn't even know you *had* a baseball team. evidence: the same 45 people showed up to your games for the last decade. (and this email is *not* directed at those people, nor those who got interested last season & are actually making an effort to learn more about & find enjoyment in the game; *those* people i believe truly qualify as real live fans.) the rest of the crowd were all fans of the away team or baseball fans on vacation looking to catch a game while they were in town.

so. today you're going to stand at my desk and whine about:

a) how boring the game of baseball is.

b) how it's not fair that the AL Champs have to open on the road in Boston.

c) how no games should ever be played in Boston at the start of the season because the weather is too crappy in April for baseball to be played there.

d) how there's so much less to watch than during a football game.

e) how long the game is.

f) how you can't imagine how *anyone* could ever watch an entire season of something as mundane as baseball.

there might have been more but i tuned out.

let me help you "fans" out with these dilemmas you're facing:

a) baseball isn't boring if you understand & enjoy it. just because you can't wrap your mind around the subtleties of the sport doesn't make *it* stupid.

b) as a couple of my fellow Sox fans shared in an online conversation i was reading: after winning (that's *winning*, not just playing in) the World Series in 2004, the Sox opened 2005 on the road at Yankee Stadium. after winning the World Series in 2007, the Sox got to open 2008 in JAPAN. the Red Sox have not opened a season at Fenway since 2002. so in a nutshell? get over it. just because a team hasn't won a championship in 11 years of existence doesn't mean they are entitled to win the World Series, and just because you got to the World Series last year doesn't mean you get to start the season at home. you go where the schedule takes you because there are 29 other teams in the league to consider when they create a schedule.

c) baseball is meant to be played outdoors. not in that abysmal pit of warehouse. sometimes it rains outside. sometimes it even snows in April (just ask the White Sox & Indians fans!). rain delays & rain outs are part of the game of baseball. that's why we have double headers and make up games.

d) i am a football fan as well so it's not like you can engage me in a baseball vs football face off. so, since i love them both, i can very neutrally point out to you that there is *just* as much happening in a baseball game at any given moment as there is in football. and for as many "dull" moments as there are in a baseball game, during pitching changes or mound conferences, may i remind you that there are just as many during football games during timeouts, huddles and play reviews every five minutes.

e) again, as a football fan, let me assure you that the games last roughly the same amount of time: three hours on average, sometimes two & a half hours--and occasionally there's overtime which is the same thing as going to extra innings. just because there's a clock in football doesn't mean the game goes any slower without one, and may i remind you that fifteen minutes on the football clock usually take about 30 to actually play anyway.

f) because some of us understand what we're watching and we enjoy it, whether you comprehend that or not. i truly appreciate that baseball (or football or *anything* really) isn't for everyone, so why must it be "boring and stupid" just because *you* don't find something enjoyable?? can't we just say that whatever it is just isn't for us? because someone somewhere enjoys it and that needs to be respected.

are we straight now, baby unbearable adolescent junior-high-maturity Rays "fans"? (babies are actually cute, which you are not, so sorry, you don't qualify as babies.)

better yet? STOP WATCHING. if you're that freaking miserable, turn. it. off. it's really not that difficult. i do it all the time: basketball games, golf, tennis. if it doesn't interest me, I CHANGE THE CHANNEL. i am not such a dimwit that i continue watching what bores me.

i will take a Yankees fan any day of the week over a Rays "fan" because at least the Yankees fans *get it*. we may not agree on some things but a Yankees fan (and i don't mean the people who wear the gear as a fashion statement here, but the actual *fan* of the game) understands the game with all its subtleties & nuances. they appreciate the game of baseball for what it is. and most of them have been watching it for more than ten minutes.

i get it that baseball isn't for everyone and you know what? that's fine. but i love it. i understand it. i look forward to it every off-season with much anticipation. i watch as many Sox games during the season as i possibly can. and when my team isn't playing? i will even turn on the games of *other* teams. i actually feel like an even happier person when there's baseball to be watched. so if it truly is that much agony for you to watch it? do us both a favor & find something else to watch. we'll both be happier for it.