This Week on My TV: March 8, 2014

Disclaimer: Some shows I watch live and with others, I tend to be fairly behind on my tv watching. Even so, consider the fact that there could be spoilers ahead. All I can do is lead in with the show and episode. You read at your own risk!



**(Reign, S1E11 "Inquisition") I knew there was no way that baby would get clear of the castle without someone suspecting from whence she came or what the story was behind the pagan mark on her little foot. -- Finally, an explanation for Clarissa. What crazy notions they had so long ago, that birthmarks were a "kiss of the Devil." -- It was sad to hear Catherine and Henry talk about how they slowly killed their love. -- That was some quick thinking by Bash to dump some grain out under the storeroom door where he and Mary were hiding, especially after being sliced by the sword, when my first thought would have been something along the lines of "owwwwwww!!" -- Did the peasant midwife who had been hiding the baby really say that Catherine had a bastard child with her lover? Her lover, *Richard*? Her lover, Richard, who was Henry's friend and who has a port wine stain birthmark on his cheek? One that runs in his family? One that was passed on to a daughter, who was abandoned by its mother, sent to Nostradamus' father to have it removed, but the child was horribly disfigured and she was reported dead...except that child is...Clarissa?? Whoa. -- Henry: Next time you see a threat, large or small, you cut it down like a weed. -- Did Catherine's family pretty much tell her to off herself?

**(Elementary, S2E15 "Corpse de Ballet") Did Sherlock really post a note reading "coitus in progress or recently concluded" on his door? I totally expect the same will occur whenever Sheldon and Amy get around to "it." Also amusing? Joan [reacting to the note on the door]: More on point than a sock. -- It's very inconvenient when ballerinas, cut in half, fall out of the scenery during rehearsal. -- It sounds like Jonny Lee Miller had a pretty good chest cold going when they filmed this episode. -- Sherlock [to Joan about how he slept with the primary suspect to determine if she had a shoulder injury]: Sleep with her yourself if you don't believe me. -- I knew that lawyer was the real culprit, but I was way off on how and why.

**(Blue Bloods, S4E15 "Open Secrets") Garrett is pouting that Frank can't tell him something. It's not good to have secrets in a marriage! Even a "work marriage." -- I knew that custodian had something to do with the disappearance. Watch enough crime shows, I guess, and you'll be able to spot the obvious criminals the second they appear on screen. -- Garrett [to Frank]: I'd get you a fake mustache and glasses, but you've already got that covered. -- Nicky has quite a lot of opinions on "rights," now doesn't she. I suppose she is an effective teenager if I spend about half the time wanting to smack her. -- Well, I'm glad they found  both missing girls but did they have to make me cry with the father being reunited with the daughter who was missing for years?

**(CSI, S14E15 "Love for Sale") Really, with the flies, CSI? ::gag:: -- They did some cool camera work with the clouds over that "abandoned" building Greg and Nick showed up at to investigate. There were also some cool overhead shots inside the brothel. Well done, CSI! -- It's always the preacher's daughter. Except, wow, there were some interesting twists! Like it most of it wasn't at all what seemed.

**(How I Met Your Mother, S9E19 "Vesuvius") Opening scene with The Mother! Always a good sign for an episode. And how cute were they?? They know all each others' stories and are high-fiving for finally being an old married couple. I love them. Also? That was a *rock* on her hand. Holy cow, Ted Mosby. -- Susan Tupp. Sue Tupp. Suit up. A room full of Barney's suits so he can pick one for the wedding. ::snort:: --  Ted: And then I think it hit all of us. We didn't know the next time we'd be together. This was it. And it's funny. In a moment like that, when what's really happening is too intense to deal with, sometimes it's best... The Mother: ...To leave it unspoken and just enjoy each other's company instead. -- The Wedding Bride Too. They really are giving a nod to so much of this show's history. -- Why were Ted and The Mother teary when mentioning mothers showing up for their daughters' weddings? I am in denial here, because it sure feels like they are going to kill off The Mother before this is all over. Not cool, HIMYM. Not. Cool.

**(2 Broke Girls, S3E18 "And the Near Death Experience") Why does the laugh track always "woooo!" every time Chef Nicholas comes on screen? Seriously? Do they assume most of the television audience is blind? -- Caroline: And se-end. ... And sla-ap. Because this show needs any more ways to be annoying. -- I don't know which is more disgusting: Han's cleaning projects at the diner or Oleg in general. -- Caroline and Max are hiding in the bathroom from Nicholas's wife...and having a conversation at a decibel level known as shriek. ::shakes head:: At least make them use a stage whisper.

**(Mike and Molly, S4E13 "Open Mike Night") So. Carl sings really flat. And that may be all I have to say about a show based on *Molly* giving out a bunch of advice.

**(Scandal, S3E11 "Ride, Sally, Ride") I wonder if the First Lady really runs through the White House like Mellie just did. -- I can't get used to a rattled Harrison. -- Mellie is back to not knowing what it is she wants. "Come back, Liv, Fitz is dying without you." "Date some guy from this list for show and stay away from my husband." -- The person Harrison is so freaked out by is...Nora from How I Met Your Mother? I did *not* see that coming! ALso did not see it coming when they started tearing of each other's clothes. -- James and Cyrus have one jacked. up. marriage. They turn on each other at the drop of a hat.

**(The Blacklist, S1E15 "The Judge") Lucy Brooks *is* Jolene Parker! -- The man in the cowboy hat that Red sent to do some checking on where Lucy/Jolene has been is Broyles from Fringe! -- There is no point in telling Red you can't help him when he asks you for something. One way or another, you'll find a way or he'll help himself. -- Tom, you are a dog, sitting in a bar, taking off your wedding band. -- This show deploys some extraordinarily well chosen music for its soundtracks. This time it's "Jolene." -- Who. Is. Tom. Keene. What mission? What target? What is his purpose with Lizzie?!

**(Mom, S1E18 "Sonograms and Tube Tops") Violet in a little bit of denial, maybe? Not wanting to know the gender, thinking about going to prom, hating the crib. -- Christy got a whole bunch of food for a restaurant for Violet's baby shower. For exactly how long was she expecting that food to keep? -- Is Violet really giving her baby up for adoption? Her reasoning is noble and responsible, but the way it ended, it sounded like Luke's parents were going to do their best to prevent it.

**(Dallas, S3E2 "Trust Me") John Ross is so his father's son. Right down to the "darlin'." -- I approve the changes they made to this season's opening sequence to more closely mirror that of the original series. -- Did Bobby just say "stupid pills" in adult conversation?? ::snort:: -- I am *really* loving that beard on Christopher. -- Judith Ryland: I made my bones dealing with psychopaths and criminals while you were still playing with your Easy Bake Oven. -- Christopher: Ya know, I have to be honest... Nicolas: I've learned all the best lies start with that sentence. -- Threats and lies and backstabbing and cheating and bribery and epic parties. Ewings will always be Ewings. -- Bum is a good guy, covering up Sue Ellen's request to have him tail John Ross to see if he was involved with Emma, as a promise he made to JR to keep an eye on John Ross. -- Harris looked horrified as his mother was helping the Mexican drug contact feel her up "looking for a wire." I didn't think it was possible to horrify Harris Ryland. -- ::tires screech:: Harris Ryland is working for the CIA what?!

**(The Middle, S5E15 "Vacation Days") Frankie: Why does he have to go to Florida? What does Florida have that we don't? Mike: Beaches. Young people. Hope. -- Wow. A lot of people in Orson Yelp about a fast food baked potato counter at the mall. Poor Sue. I would take it all personally, too.

**(Person of Interest, S3E16 "RAM") Who knew there was a Man in the Suit, before the Man in the Suit we know and love? -- It would seem Mr Finch knew of Mr Reese before they became business associates. I always figured the first time they met was when Mr Reese was all scraggly and hopeless. -- Note to self: wasabi in a gunshot wound does not feel pleasant. -- I really enjoyed the back story of how Reese ended up on the hunt for the laptop that eventually landed him out of the CIA, homeless and despondent...until Finch acquired him. -- The hooded figure in the park was Shaw! I love how all their stories were woven together long before we first met any of them. -- Just when we were wondering where Root was, here she is again, giving cryptic messages and getting ready to blow things up.

**(Chicago Fire, S2E14 "Virgin Skin") Called it: Rafferty found herself in trouble for treating a patient who declined medical attention for religious reasons. -- Casey is a liar. Just like the rest of the previously injured firefighters have been liars. This story line is getting old. I suppose he'll have a miraculous cure too? -- Is failing the test going to send Dawson back to being a paramedic? Rafferty's suspension certainly opened a space for her again. -- Boden, you're an idiot. You're letting a good woman go because of your pride and fear? -- I think I actually like a character! Clarke has grown on me. -- Of course Dawson's arch rival from academy is going to be assigned to not only her house, but Casey's truck. Cue the jealous woman rage.

**(The Big Bang Theory, S7E17 "The Friendship Turbulence") Howard used to call Sheldon "C3PeeWee Herman."  ::snort:: -- How many times is Leonard going to stick his foot in his mouth in regard to Penny's acting before the writers notice the "joke" has gotten stale? -- They sure are mean to each other, for a group of friends. -- Amy [to Raj when he comes to her for help, after mentioning he'd seen West Side Story and was freaked out]: There's an undergrad in a leather jacket snapping his fingers by the water fountain? -- I guess Penny's "check engine" light is finally an actual problem. Heh.

**(Modern Family, S5E16 "Spring-a-Ding-Fling") Ha! The Spanish teacher that was on sabbatical was the Cam at the high school, before Cam started teaching there.  -- OMG. Cam: Stop. It's Cammer time.

**(About a Boy, S1E1 "Series Premiere") Ewww! Did Will just tell a kid he doesn't really even know to throw the rib back in the bucket after the kid licked it? Is this ok by the "man code" or something? -- Did cello lady just imply that they would "get busy" while the kids played?! Gross. -- I'm guessing that song Marcus sang to his mother was supposed to be sweet but...it was a little creepy. -- Not bad, especially for a series premiere. We'll definitely give this one a shot.

**(Law and Order: SVU, S15E15 "Comic Perversion") Hey! It's Amy from Parenthood! I really like Skyler Day. I thought I remembered her being on an earlier episode of SVU and she is reprising her role of Renee, a former rape victim. -- This guy is not funny. Rape comedy can't be a real thing, can it? -- Chuckle-slut? What? Who comes up with this stuff? -- What is the Barba's problem? I thought he was starting to becoming likable and now he's back to being wicked cranky.

**(Last Man Standing, S3E17 "Eve's Boyfriend") Does the Larabee reference imply that he moved home again? -- Mandy's hair gets worse every week! -- Mandy: I see what's going on here. Eve: That would be a first. -- Eve: I hate living in a house with a bunch of girls. Mike: Yeah, I know the feeling. Take a break, c'mon in the den, do what I do: bitch about the Democrats and clean shotguns. -- Kristin: Eve, they're going to find out eventually. Mike: Boy, there's words every parent loves to hear. -- Kristin: So all of this wasn't just an excuse for you guys to have some alone time together? Eve: Hello, both of our parents work. I get out of school at 3. If we wanted to, we could have had two kids and a cat by now. -- Hold up. Kristin still comes home to do laundry? Way to be Miss Independent.

**(Elementary, S2E16 "The One Percent Solution") That opening scene between Sherlock and Joan regarding the...errr...roosters was funny. My inner twelve-year-old is clearly alive and well. -- Interesting parallel between the roosters and Sherlock/Lestrade. -- They know they are dealing with a bomber, and yet they show up at his house and barge right in, without checking to see if he has it rigged with explosives??