This Week on My TV: March 15, 2014

Disclaimer: Some shows I watch live and with others, I tend to be fairly behind on my tv watching. Even so, consider the fact that there could be spoilers ahead. All I can do is lead in with the show and episode. You read at your own risk!



**(Blue Bloods, S4E16 "Insult to Injury") Danny sure runs into a lot of suicides lately. -- The teacher (I think that's who she was?) on the field trip Frank is chaperoning for Sean's class is a real piece of work. Those poor kids are not having fun or learning anything! And Frank wants to see the dinosaurs, darn it! It's probably not a good idea to keep the NYC Police Commissioner from seeing the dinosaurs. -- It's just not a good police chase unless the car fishtails. -- We know our Danny Reagan at this house: T predicted the punch, I predicted the hug.

**(About a Boy, S1E2 "About Total Exuberance") Ha. Marcus was in the wall. -- Will looking through the dumbwaiter at Fiona and Marcus at the end of the show was a smidgen creepy. -- This show is actually kind of funny. That isn't easy to pull off at the start of a new sitcom.

**(Chicago Fire, S2E15 "Keep Your Mouth Shut") How did the new girl get fire gear so quickly? It was like she arrived and two minutes later there was a call and she suddenly was fully suited up. -- Exactly what does Severide want Clarke to do for him to the guy that kidnapped and raped Katie?? -- Wow, Candidate Jones. Whining to Severide that Casey is being mean to her. Time to learn her place at the house. She's not a "man or a woman," she's a candidate. They treated Mills the same way. -- Dawson needs to get her panties out of a twist already. She just wants to be pissed off at everyone. -- Gee, Severide, when the detective that told you to stay away from the guy who attacked your sister and then asks you if you know anything about why he's come up missing, shooting glances at Otis and Clarke isn't at *all* suspicious.

**(Reign, S1E12 "Royal Blood") For a while, I found Clarissa sympathetic. But that scene in Catherine's chambers where she inexplicably broke the neck of the servant girl, and then the one where she ripped out a chunk of her own hair, complete with scalp, to add to the locks of baby hair she stole from Catherine's dresser, well, let's just say she's crossed back over into creepy, but in a real way now, not just spooky, as she was to start. -- Mary holding power over Bash in regard to the young princes? Ouch. Especially when he so obviously loves her. That was harsh. -- Francis and  Lola??? *That* won't turn out to be a complication. No... -- It's too bad I know history, because I would love for Mary to end up with Bash. -- That was a horrible way to "bury" Clarissa, even if she turned psychopathic at the end.

**(Grey's, S10E13 "Take It Back") I went from thrilled for Jackson and April (even though I can't believe I just said that about April running out of her own wedding with another guy) to supremely annoyed with April yet again, for making a decision only to back out of it. Follow through on *something*, April, would you?? -- I am so confused. In three weeks, Callie and Arizona, well, mostly Arizona, went from screaming and crying and saying they were over to buying a house? -- I love Mer and Der, but with everything else happening at that wedding, Mer was mad that Derek was being summoned by the President of the United States? Is this just about their agreement that this would be "her year" for her career, after being focused on her pregnancy last year? --When Alex introduced Jo to his father's current wife as "his fiancee," I said "what?!" a split second before the corresponding expression came across Jo's face. -- Cristina [to Shane]: You've made some bad choices. That was a good one... In the future, make more good ones. -- Full circle: residents crying over attendings in the stairwell.

**(Revolution, S2E15 "Dreamatcher") Whoa. That pretty much sums up the hour in which neither the viewer nor Aaron had any idea what was real and what was illusion. Those nanites are some serious business.

**(How I Met Your Mother, S9E20 "Daisy") I don't know why, but it bothers me that Robin's mother has a British accent. -- I find it amusing that they always call Billy Zabka by his first and last names. -- As Troy is my witness: I called Lily being pregnant. I said we didn't know what was actually in those glasses Linus kept giving her. She stopped at a "quick mart" and left with a brown paper bag, exactly what she did the first time she thought she was pregnant when she and Marshall were visiting his family in Minnesota. She got to The Captain's house and asked to use the powder room, was in there for a while and then raced out of there, where we know she went back to the hotel to tell Marshall that they weren't going to Italy. Plus she was chewing gum, which might have helped settle her stomach. -- I *love* that we got a preview of Marshall and Lily in a year. I *love* that Marshall gave up the judgeship so Lily could have her dream in Italy. And I love love *love*  that they named their baby girl Daisy, as a tribute to the daisy in The Captain's powder room where Lily tried to hide her positive pregnancy test.

**(Law and Order: SVU, S15E16 "Gridiron Soldier") Rollins needs to get her gambling under control again. I realize addictions are never gone, but it's a little tiresome that we have to revisit this theme with her character this often. -- As soon as it became clear what the charges were going to be, T called that there would be chair throwing. He was right. -- The coach in these episodes always acts indignant when his role in the situation is revealed. -- political statement re nfl?

**(Mike and Molly, S4E14 "Rich Man, Poor Girl) Carl: Your wife's well read, well educated, and well mannered. ... Molly, well mannered?? -- Mike: I'm Shrek with a buzz cut. 

**(Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, S1E9 "Nothing to Fear") That talking Tweedle head is creeeeepy. -- I wonder how Jafar will feel about "the genie" being The Knave and not Cyrus. Will that change anything? -- Guard: You're a fool. Only thing waiting in that prison is death. Jafar: Death and I have already met. Send him my regards. -- Poor Lizard. It's no fun being the girl who wants the guy she cannot have. -- The Knave: Confidence. Confidence is a terribly sexy quality in a woman. -- I don't understand what happened to Lizard when she made her final wish. She was suddenly dead because that was the only way to make the Knave feel *anything* about her? -- The Red Queen's lips really bug me. -- I love The Knave Genie's reaction every time he says "Mistress mine my will is thine, tell me thy wishes three." -- I did not expect the Jabberwocky to be a female.

**(The Good Wife, S5E13 "Parallel Construction, Bitches") They totally faked me out with the television show starting this episode! I was all annoyed, thinking I had recorded the show incorrectly. -- Do government officials really just pull up in black vans to talk to people on the street? -- Haaaaahahaha! The judge just called the defendant table of Florrick-Agos, Lockhardt-Gardner, Lamont Bishop and his personal attorney a clown car. -- Marilyn: You have a great talent for turning friends into enemies. -- Holy crap, this NSA wire tapping thing is crazy. I wonder if it really works the way they are portraying it or if they are parodying it. -- I may be slightly more than amused by the NSA geeks listening in on Diane and Will dismissing Cary's warning that their phones were tapped too. -- Oh boy. Things are about to get messy  for a whole lot of people right now in regard to those stuffed ballot boxes.

**(The Mentalist, S6E13 "Black Helicopters") Hmmmm. This is all very "The Bridge"-like. Tunnels from Mexico to Texas. A woman's body discovered in Juarez. -- That rancher who pulled up on Cho and Fischer sure had a clean and shiny black truck for someone driving around on dusty dirt roads. -- Leaving Jane alone in a vehicle in which you arrived together is a surefire way to end up stranded. -- I like that we keep "visiting" Rigsby and Van Pelt, but it makes the storytelling a bit disjointed. -- Grace's bangs are hanging in her eyes and it makes me subconsciously feel like my hair is in *my* eyes and I hate when it does that. Can someone trim her bangs just a smidge, please? -- I really enjoyed all the old toys Jane kept gifting people. That was an excellent addition to the episode. -- La Roche: Rigsby! Rigsby: Everything ok? La Roche: No, everything is not ok. This place is creepy. -- Who is stalking former CBI agents?! Now they took out La Roche and Rigsby is still there!

**(Scandal, S3E12 "We Do Not Touch the First Ladies") Olivia [after Fitz references a "fox in the hen house"]: I am not a hen and my house is not yours. ... I love when she gets all indignant with him, then just crumbles when he beckons her. It makes you so credible, Olivia. ::eye roll:: -- They are really working hard to hide Kerry Washington's pregnancy. -- Man, it must be awkward to be the Secret Service and have to listen to the President have personal arguments. -- Wow, what troll bridge has Hollis been hiding under? I almost forgot about him. -- James: We're out of time, David. That metal-on-mental sound you hear? It's Cyrus forging his sword. The one he's going to cut my throat with as soon as he finds out I'm Publius. -- Jake: What? Olivia: Hello to you too. Jake: You called me. You said it was important. You said to come home early. I used my official Boyfriend of Olivia Pope Key. So...*what*? ... I can't even imagine what this little arrangement is doing to Jake, pretending to be the boyfriend of the woman he loves so she can sneak around with Fitz. -- Hollis: Them boys are all dumber than a trailer hitch. ... I'm going to have to remember that one. -- Part of me wants to feel bad for Mellie and all she's been through, but gosh, she is vicious and evil. -- What is with Huck bringing Olivia cups of coffee, looking uncomfortable and leaving?! ... Ohhh. I didn't recognize Huck being *sorry*! -- I seriously thought David was going to be a goner at the Publius set-tup. Thank God Abby and Huck "kidnapped" him in time. I wonder how they knew though. -- Huck [to Olivia]: You took in a wild monster and you groomed me and petted me and trained me to sit at your feet, but that doesn't make me  puppy, Liv. That just makes me a very loyal monster. So I didn't go too far. I went exactly as far as my leash allows. And you hold the leash. You ruined her life and you made me save her. And then you gave her to me to take under my wing. *You* hold the leash. *You* went too far. You should have never given me someone to love. Monsters eat people, Liv. It's what we do. -- Powerful scene with Mellie and Andrew and the portaits of the First Ladies and the title of this episode. Nicely done. "We Do Not Touch the First Ladies." -- What a crazy final two minutes! Fitz's Secret Service Agent is B-613 and Jake's "eyes on the inside." He gives Jake a flash drive that shows him the Oval Office where Fitz asks Olivia if she has feelings for Jake and she says she doesn't know. (This has *got* to be torture for Jake.) And Harrison's Adnan Salif woman is working for Olivia's mother OMGWHAT?!

**(The Middle, S5E16 "Stormy Moon") Meh. Reverend Tim Tom. Never really a fan. Let's put Reverend Tammy in the same category. Sue being jealous, though? That was kinda funny. -- Frankie was arrested for unreturned library books. I always *knew* they would do that when I was a kid! -- I just can't drum up the same enthusiasm for an Axl-and-Cassidy reunion that I have for Sue-and-Darrin.

**(Modern Family, S5E17 "Other People's Children") Claire didn't wear a wedding gown when she married Phil?? -- Manny: Ah, Luke. Sweet as custard...and just as smart.

**(Dallas, S3E3 "Playing Chicken") That was quite a...bathing suit, Emma. -- It was just a little creepy, watching Emma and Rebecca go lingerie shopping for Rebecca's honeymoon with a man they are both bedding. -- Sue Ellen still has the touch when it comes to getting what she wants. All that time with JR made her a master of manipulation. -- Oh for Pete's sake, Harris. Does your mother have to do everything for you? -- Of all the evil on this show, I am starting to think the most evil of all is Mother Ryland. -- Why, of course, I happen to have this folder of incriminating information on the person you're asking about right here close at hand. How convenient! -- Christopher, how are you not smart enough to know better than to get into a vehicle with men you don't know in Mexico? -- That was quite a longing look exchanged between Elena and Nicolas. I thought they were supposed to be "like siblings?!" -- Bobby so busted Nicolas trying to bribe the witness who saw Cliff Barnes in Mexico the night JR was killed. Ha! -- Ewww! Emma stole the lingerie Rebecca bought to wear for John Ross and then *wore* it for a rendezvous with John Ross herself first?! (Or did she buy the exact same one for herself without Rebecca noticing? If so, Rebecca needs to work on her observation skills. Especially if she's going to keep hold of her husband.) -- Nicolas has a wife and family?! What a dirty lying dog! All while he's seducing Elena.

**(The Big Bang Theory, S7E18 "The Mommy Observation") Let's just go with a "best quotes ever" theme here. -- Amy: Should you really be sitting in Sheldon's spot? Raj: He's in Texas. He'll never know. Penny: Wouldn't be so sure about that. Leonard: Yeah, he has a very sensitive butt. [everyone gives Leonard funny looks] It's true! Once I saw him sit on a bunch of loose change and add it up. -- Howard: You can't show up to your mom's empty handed. You should bring something. Sheldon: I already am. I'm bringing the gift of knowledge. Howard: Oh boy... Sheldon: Despite what her Bible says, recent archaeological studies indicate that although camels are referenced in the Old Testament, they didn't exist in the Middle East until hundreds of years later. Howard: I was going to say we pick up a cake or a pie, but an insult to her faith is always thoughtful. -- Things you never expect to hear Sheldon say: I'm not nearly drunk enough. -- Leonard: You don't go into science for the money. Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month, my company both invented and cured Restless Eye Syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps! -- Sheldon's mother [after Sheldon tells her he saw her having sex]: Maybe we should sit down an talk about this. Sheldon: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on? -- Howard: All I'm saying is you might not want to get in the way your mom's happiness. Sheldon: You may have a point. I love my mother...even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel. -- Sheldon's mother: Are you having the sex talk with me? Sheldon: Well, someone has to! Sheldon's mother: Oh, dear *Lord*. Sheldon: No, don't look to Him. He's mad you right now.

**(About a Boy, S1E3 "About a Godfather") Marcus bowling = me bowling. Takes too much coordination. -- Andy's wife has annoying Crazy Eyes. -- How do they get babies to cry at the right moment in a show? Does someone pinch them or something? -- Did Will seriously put Post-It Notes with their names on the kids' heads, tell the baby to hum instead of crying, and squirt the baby in the face with a water gun when he started crying? ::snort::

**(CSI, S14E16 "Killer Moves") Live moss bath mats at one of the hotels? I'm not sure how I would feel about that if I checked in there, unsuspecting. -- I don't think I've ever mentioned it, but love that Sanders is cute and a nerd. Shows usually make the nerds super nerdy-looking, as if they couldn't also be attractive.  -- A chess themed serial killer. I bet *that* has never been done before!

**(Parenthood, S5E15 "Just Like at Home") How many awkward and uncomfortable scenes can we cram into that opening sequence? Oof. You're killing me, Bravermans! -- Whoa. That spa in Mendocino where Adam and Kristina went was *crazy* nice. And that huge stone fireplace! ::swoon:: -- Carl is just being the perfect man, saying Sarah's dad was so smart when she told a story about him from her childhood, remembering Sarah's sister's name is Julia, taking her out to dinner at a taco truck because it was tied into her first big photo shoot. -- Oh, Hank. You should know that you don't mess with another artists's vision. -- I get it, Crosby. It is so hard to face saying goodbye to the place that houses all your childhood memories. -- Things I loved: Zeek being willing to sell the house to make Camille happy, because marriage is sometimes about difficult sacrifices. Sibling dance party at Julia's, because Crosby, Sarah and Adam want her to not feel alone. Drew giving Amy really good advice about needing to talk to her parents, about the abortion, about Tufts not feeling like a good fit, about all the things that are troubling her and making her seek refuge in Drew's dorm room. Victor calling Julia from Joel's apartment after having a bad dream, because despite everything, he just wants his *mom*.

**(Law and Order: SVU, S15E17 "Gambler's Fallacy") Rollins sure gets all gussied up for her nights out gambling. -- Rollins is in quite a mess, in debt up to her neck, doing dirty work for the gambling bosses. This has to be the peak (valley?) of this story line for her, right? -- Things I did not see coming: The art gallery owner was the gambling club manager's boss. But that was nothing compared to Declan, the gambling ring goon actually being an undercover vice cop! -- Between Rollins and Amaro, things are sure not going well under Liv's watch. -- Kinda love that they used a character with an Irish accent. That's not one that gets much attention.

**(Reign, S1E13 "Consummation") Catherine [preparing for her execution]: Must I do everything? Will I have to catch my head in my own hands too? -- I rather enjoy Amy Brenneman as Marie de Guise, Mary's mother. -- Mary: I understand. You don't want to be seen as someone lying in wait to reclaim your throne. Francis: Or anything else that now belongs to my brother. ... Ouch. That had to sting. -- It was strange to see Mary in a high-necked long-sleeved gown. -- Oof. Mary loves them both. I wouldn't want to have to make that kind of decision. There is no winning at that game. (Bash. Totally Bash.) -- Kenna's a brazen and ambitious little tramp, isn't she. -- Catherine was shrewdly wise. Mary loves them both, but loves one more. (How could it possibly *not* be Bash though?? History aside, of course.) -- Even a fake royal wedding is enough to give me happy chills. Mary was stunning. -- I suspected it but didn't think it would be feasible. Clarissa is *not* dead! This is going to complicate a bunch of things for Nostradamus and Catherine. -- I am very glad that consummation ceremony has gone by the wayside. Talk about awkward.