Broken Road Confessionals: July 25, 2014

**I got engaged and found myself planning a wedding at a weird stage in my life: I had no peers. Everyone I am friends with was either a) already married, b) in the middle of a divorce, or c) struggling with feeling perpetually single. Which boils down to a) more interested in the conceiving, bearing, and/or raising of offspring, b) decidedly disinterested in anything mushy, romantic, lovey, or sparkly, *especially* weddings, or c) wondering if they really *were* going to find themselves alone forever. I like to think I'm a compassionate person. Group A was consumed with the *next* "stage of life" and all that wedding stuff was behind them and they just really would rather have a baby, or sleep, because the baby has kept them awake for three straight days -- understandably so. Group B was navigating uncomfortable and painful seas, dark and stormy, and just about the worst thing to see when your heart is damaged and hurting is some girl, over-the-top blissful and gazing frivolously at the shiny new ring on her hand, twisting it this way and that, making it glitter. And Group C I had an particularly soft spot for in my heart, because I knew those feelings all too well, and I was ever vigilant of not rubbing salt in the wounds. All that to say that having a great friend who is newly engaged herself has allowed me to release the pause button, so to speak, and squeal with all the delight of the newly engaged. And now I am caught in the strange limbo of having the conversations of the newly engaged while concluding the latter part of what could be considered newlywed-dom. I don't think I ever fit into a category properly -- I do things half out of order and at all the "less than typical" times -- but I am having a ton of fun acting girly and squealing, so don't mind me.

**There's a not-so-fine line between what I can and can't say to the non-customer, non-vendor type people who call into my place of employment. Some of it falls under what is and is not professional. The rest of it is just plian being polite. So I say what is appropriate and then, after I hang up, I say what I'm really thinking. It's cathartic. Or possibly it "releases the steam" so that I don't lose my filter and say these things to the actual caller. Whichever. Point being, I can often be found snarkily (snarkilly? snarkally? I don't know) speaking in the general direction of the hung-up phone. I probably *look* crazy, but I believe this behavior is actually protecting my sanity.

**Observation: Social media certainly appears to provide a platform for some seemingly grown adults (wait...redundancy? oh well...) to act like emo tweenagers. It's not that I don't appreciate that life isn't perfect, it doesn't look like Pinterest, it isn't all puppies and puffy white clouds. But, more and more, I find I have decreasing tolerance for those who wallow and collect pity -- both from self and external sources -- and are "woe is me" day in and day out. What I appreciate are those who embrace their reality, whether it's an amazing family vacation or a messy house and a screaming baby, with a sense of gratitude and perspective. Nothing, this side of heaven, will be exactly as we want, when we want it, on the terms we wish. We can either look at life, even through the lens of reality, and see all that is good or all that is lacking. But adults acting like angsty adolescents? Time to get over yourselves. Life's not perfect. Time to do the work with what you have.

**My brother gets into some seriously deep philosophical and theological discussions on his Facebook page. Now, I don't think I'm by any means unintelligent, but I'm usually lost about three sentences in. I always wander away feeling a combination of dazed and dense.