Red Sox Retrospect 2010: Taking No Prisoners

I cannot remember the last time the Hot Stove sizzled like this in Boston. Sure, we've picked up new guys each off-season, but it seemed like every time I checked my sources, a new blockbuster-type deal was being revealed. Every big free agent name that hit the market had word of Theo sniffing around, kicking the tires, sending up question marks. The dust wouldn't even begin to settle around one name when another would hit the headlines.

There were a total of four big signings (some certainly bigger than others). I have feelings on each of them. You're shocked, I know.

Bobby Jenks: This may be my least favorite of the four. Not even so much because he slumped a bit in Chicago last season, but his attitude. He kind of reminds me of another Papelbon in personality and I feel like we've already exceeded our limit of that with the one we've already got in the house. Yes, I know Papelbon has his apologists fans, but he's grated my nerves one too many times, leaving me a bit gun shy--both when he opens his mouth and when he gets called in to close. I had been hoping that another year might bring some maturity, along with the "contract season" encouraging some immediate turnaround on Papelbon's performance, and now the presence of Jenks (and his God awful beard) has me a little worried the attitudes might just feed off one another. I hope I'm wrong.

Dan Wheeler: So, we've established that the Jenks signing leaves me casting a wary eye in its general direction. The Wheeler deal has me dancing a jig. This guy is a horse. He's competed in the AL East. He's a rather unassuming fellow (reminds me a bit of Wakey, in a way, maybe?)(remember I've seen a lot more of him, his old stomping grounds being in my local media coverage area). I feel like we made our bullpen considerably more solid by his addition...and I am even willing to tolerate The Bobble Glove (TM) as long as he remains as reliable as he has been.

Carl Crawford: Our second new former-Ray (funny how they picked up two former-Sox as well, though it appears Tampa is hoping for a time machine headed back to 2004 with their choices) created a huge stir in Red Sox Nation. I am of split mind on this. Yes, he's got some talent (though I don't necessarily subscribe to the local media's turning him into their Sunshine State version of Derek Jeter, complete with slobbering all over him, nor do I think I shall ever refer to him as The Fastest Man Alive). I am not disputing the talent. And I am relieved (borderline giddy) that he won't be stealing two and three bases at a clip off of our battery, because very little was as painful as watching him swipe bases like Danny Ocean stole millions from Terry Kennedy's casino vault. But heaven help my sanity when NESN sticks a microphone in front of him. My skin is already crawling at the recollection of his mumbling, which is a pet peeve of mine that runs deep to my core. Short of hiring a speech coach & learning to properly pronounce his words, he'll never fully grow on me because I cannot get past his (or anyone's) lack of enunciation.

Adrian Gonzalez: Ah, the crown jewel of the Winter! My defense-loving baseball heart is all a-flutter at the acquisition of a Gold Glove first baseman to pair with our Gold Glove former-first-returned-to-third-baseman. In fact, the whole Boston infield is about as defensively glorious as I could possibly dream up. (Scoot or Lowrie at short may not provide Alex Gonzalez-style defense but they are still a far cry better than some of the cardboard cutouts we've had playing there, so yes, I'm still happy about the state of the infield.) Add to that, the coaches all gush about a swing that is built for Fenway Park & the Monstah, and I just can't wait to see all the hype play out to the roar of a home crowd.

I'd be lying if I said I'm anything short of turning inside out to see Red Sox v.2011 take the field and show us what they've got.