This Week on My TV: December 14, 2013

Disclaimer: Some shows I watch live and with others, I tend to be fairly behind on my tv watching. Even so, consider the fact that there could be spoilers ahead. All I can do is lead in with the show and episode. You read at your own risk!



**(Last Man Standing, S3E10 "Spanking") This episode did nothing to make me like Kristin and Ryan any better. But I sure was amused that Mandy and Eve were making fun of Kristin. -- Vanessa: You didn't hear about our family historical cycle of violence? My ancestors landed at Plymouth Rock, the Indians brought us corn, and we spanked our kids with it.

**(The Mentalist, S6E10 "Green Thumb") So do Lisbon, Jane and Cho still live in California or have they all relocated to Texas now? -- I'm kinda liking scruffy Patrick Jane. -- This is the happiest I have *ever* seen Lisbon! I don't think I've ever really seen her smile before, much less at Patrick, and especially about his antics.

**(Chicago Fire, S2E5 "A Power Move") These fire fighters get around more than the doctors on Grey's Anatomy. Dawson, Shay, Severide. Sheesh. All with random people in random beds. -- Mills searching for toes scattered around a yard? Gross. -- I keep trying to find just one likable character on this show, but the sad thing is that once the episode is over, I can't even remember a single compelling story line. And yet...I keep watching?

**(Mike and Molly, S4E6 "Shoeless Molly Flynn") So... if crazy new Molly doesn't work out in the ratings, will they just count this season as a mental break and switch back to less obnoxious Molly? -- Carl: Don't go in there with a hot head. Remember: Listen. Acknowledge. Admit. Apologize. LAAA. Mike: Oprah? Carl [proudly]: Carl. -- There's only so many times we can do the "Molly shops too much" story. It's just the same jokes every time.

**(CSI, S14E7 "Under a Cloud") I can't remember the last time we saw George Eads. Who is this new chem girl? Is he not coming back? -- Was that Lea Thompson from "Caroline in the City"? -- Hmmm... Is that day shift guy going to be a new love interest for Sarah? -- The more I think about it, that guy who served Greg was creepy.

**(Scandal, S3E4 "Say Hello to My Little Friend") Jake is a good guy. So why am I conflicted about Liv being with him over Fitz? Fitz who is *married*. -- Harrison's victory dance. 'Nuff said. -- Is David wearing a secret white hat, tipping off Pope and Associates about cases he's prosecuting where the defendant needs gladiating? -- Is it bad that I thoroughly enjoyed Mellie's giant misstep with a mic still on? -- Apparently B613s can only have conversations by ambush with guns aimed at one another? That might have been meant as intense, but it came off as comical. -- Did Fitz do a good thing by arranging the Arlington burial for Foster or is there more to this story? And why was Huck lurking there? Oh!! It's the guy Huck killed! ::slaps forehead:: -- Lisa Kudrow! -- It's about time David stood up for himself against Abby's ambivalence. I'm disappointed that all it took was one text from her to make him cave though. -- Quinn was way too into eating that pickle. -- Love love *love* that speech Huck gave Quinn about curbing her curiosity before she finds herself sucked into his kind darkness. -- So we're going to have a little Remington reunion, are we? I wonder how this will go down. -- Given the topic of this week's Olivia Pope client, this may be one of the best episode titles ever!

**(The Middle, S5E9 "The Christmas Tree") Frankie: I'm just excited for Axl to come home for his first Christmas since going away to college. Don't worry. Someday I'll be happy to see you too. -- Frankie: First of all, you're not going to Hooters on Christmas. Second, have you seen the Orson Hooters? -- Sue happy about everything Christmas. I get her. I just get her. I would dive head first into everything Christmas and swim around, if that were possible. -- Mike [about their humongous Christmas tree]: I hope everybody likes where it is, because that's where it's staying until Valentine's Day. -- " "Snark-asm." Now that is awesome. Must remember to file that away with "hangry" for regular vocabulary! -- Sue [after Axl stuffs her face first into the Christmas tree and she can't stop sneezing]: I'm allergic to Christmas! -- Globs of tinsel everywhere. That was the most comical Christmas tree! -- Sue's hermetically sealed Christmas, her face pressed against that giant sheet of plastic separating her from the tree. -- Brick's Christmas fundraiser ponzi scheme. I died when it ended with him taking all the poinsettias from the cemetary to sell them off. -- Brick getting a shirt exactly like the one he's wearing as a Christmas gift. -- Wow. Mike never gets emotional. That was quite a scene with Axl and "The Cat's in the Cradle." -- Sue sitting outside to enjoy the tree since it was the only way she could look at it and still breathe. I just love her. -- This was an excellent episode. Ok, all you other shows doing Christmas episodes. The bar has been set high!

**(Modern Family, S5E10 "The Old Man and the Tree") Jay: What the hell is that? Manny [proudly]: A fiber optic tree. It's way better for the environment than a real one. Jay: Not if the environment is my living room. Manny: Look, I admit it takes some getting used to. But so did Greek yogurt. Now I can't even remember how the old stuff tastes. Jay: Why do we keep changing things that don't need changing? Christmas is real trees, egg nog, Perry Como and Bing on the hifi. Manny: Now you're just making up words. ... I hear ya, Jay. I hear ya! -- Mitchell: Oh...we're calling it The Twelve Gays of Christmas now. Cam: Just be glad I talked him out of Feliz Navi-dude. -- Cam: Ok, I am not pointing fingers, but our daughter had exactly one thing [holds up one finger] on her list and *someone* didn't get it [finger starts to lower] so *someone* needs to go to the mall. Mitchell: You're pointing fingers. Cam: No, it's still a one. It just fell asleep on the job. -- Mitchell [on the phone to Cam] There are no Puppy Pounds *anywhere*. It's like trying to find a Cabbage Patch Kid on Christmas Eve 1983. -- Jay [as he and Manny struggle to cut down a real tree and the saw gets stuck]: What is this wood made out of? They ought to make saws out of it! -- I about died when Jay tied a bunch of rope to the tree with the other ends tied to the car, attempting to pull the tree over that way, but ends up just stripping off a bunch of branches. Manny: It's bald on one side now! Jay: It'll be fine! We'll just comb over some branches! -- Alex: What's going to happen to me? Am I going to just nitpick everyone until they leave me? Haley [comfortingly]: Hey, Mom found somebody...

**(Parenthood, S5E5 "Let's Be Mad Together") Crosby changed that diaper wicked fast for being a "number two." -- Sarah's version of plumbing looks like something that would happen to me. -- I love that Hank isn't afraid to do battle for Max's photography talent. -- I suspect I'm supposed to realize Sarah was right to be concerned about Amber and Ryan, but I'm really just annoyed with Sarah for stirring up problems with her own projection onto Amber. -- Not a fan of Peet. Back away from that, Joel. That's just trouble. -- Boy, this season is all about teams that aren't working properly and overstepping boundaries: Adam and Kristina on the campaign. Millie and Zeek on whether or not to sell the house. Julia and Joel conflicting on how to handle Victor's reading problems. Adam and Crosby disagreeing about The Luncheonette also producing its own albums as a private label. Sarah mishandling her boundaries with Amber about her upcoming wedding to Ryan. Sarah's meddling causing disharmony between Amber and Ryan. Crosby and Jasmine navigating the upheaval of a newborn. -- Drunk Joel in the grocery store, staring at cakes. And stumbling over saying 'inebriated.' Haaaahahaha! -- I don't even know who you are anymore, Joel. With the yelling and the looking for fights and the being strong willed. It's like you're suddenly...Julia. -- Well, Ryan, I pretty much love you for being a man and telling Sarah what she wanted answers to and being respectful but still standing your ground. -- I did not cry. Not even one tear. Maybe the only that's happened with this show. Ever.

**(The Big Bang Theory, S7E11 "The Cooper Extraction") OMG that ornament spacing template is so something my dad would use. -- Sheldon: She chose to have a home birth because she wants to live in the Stone Age and a cave wasn't available. -- Raj: If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room? Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when when they're *making* the baby, I'll give you $10. -- Amy: Hi, Sheldon. Everything ok? Sheldon: No, it's not. I've seen things. Lady things. Amy: Listen to me. That is NOT the way they usually look. Sheldon: Doesn't matter. It is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Like some kind of dirty magic show. -- Sheldon: I have two PhDs and somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal. -- Sheldon: That baby is so irritating. He has literally been crying his entire life. -- Love Leonard showing Amy how she's more important to Sheldon than she thinks...but Sheldon went to Texas without his laptop?! -- The "what if" episodes of Friends were always some of my favorites. And "It's a Wonderful Life" is my very favorite movie. Needless to say, the pressure was high for The Big Bang Theory to live up to this high-set bar. Very well done. Except Leonard, Raj and Stuart in fat suits still weren't as good as Monica in a fat suit.

**(Top Chef, S11E10 "Like Mama Made") The Quick Fire Challenge was sponsored by Dunkin! (This makes me inordinately happy, but my love for Dunkin is no shocker to anyone at this point.) -- I honestly expected them to come up with more coffee-crusted meats for that Quick Fire requiring the use of Dunkin Donuts coffee. -- I love the variations on this challenge: comfort food, food that makes you think of home, foods your mom/gram made. The chefs all get so emotional and passionate. I feel like I need to see that, with how cut-throat they've gotten by this point in the competition. -- T and I were discussing what we'd have to make for this kind of challenge. T: chicken and dumplings or macaroni and cheese. Me: meatloaf. -- Called it: Nick wins, Travis packs his knives and Louis reigns in Last Chance Kitchen!

**(The Carrie Diaries, S2E1 "Win Some, Lose Some") Seriously cute hair, but no one looks that cute first thing in the morning, baby Carrie Bradshaw. Post party Carrie was way more realistic. -- I am totally loving Carrie falling in love with her city. -- What is with all the yellow phones?? Does no one own, say, a brown or black one?! -- The debut of Samantha! With how well they've constructed young Carrie, I am very curious to see how well they can do with young Samantha.