just who is this girl you all know through my thoughts & ramblings...?

a "conversation through blog comments" with Marianne has prompted me to uncover a little piece of me that for some reason so many people find surprising or they just think it's nonsense. given what would appear to be my outgoing personality in expressing myself here & having zero qualms about leaving commentary on the blogs of people i wouldn't know in real life from a whole in the ground...i am in reality very shy & quiet, reserved in unfamiliar company & very guarded. i say this & people think i am insane & i can't imagine why this is! (LOL...)

let me quote to you exactly what i said to Marianne:
i am so shy & quiet & hesitant...until i'm comfortable. then look out!! ;-)

i am admittedly a LOT better than i used to be, but i still prefer to hang back & observe for a while before i break the ice with people i don't know. and i like it much better when i am approached as opposed to initiating the conversation myself. i have been told my sunny friendly personality & my ability to make others feel comfortable is what misleads people to believe that i am not shy. i guess i'll take that as a compliment! but at the end of the day, i still am drawn to the quieter people as opposed to the really loud & obnoxious, the intimacy of one-on-one or a small group of those i know over the party scene for sure!

i am sure those of you who know me casually will take the stance of everyone else i've met & say that you can't believe i'd call myself shy. but the smile i turn on & my nature to be as helpful as possible combined with the fact that i firmly believe in treating people with a smile & genuine "nice-ness" must somehow cause others to classify me as outgoing. i guess i just feel like greeting people with a smile, making eye contact, paying attention, calling them by their name when at all possible--it all has the potential to catch them off guard, make their day a little brighter in a world where so many just hustle other people right along without any real acknowledgement, like they are somehow bothered by someone else approaching them. maybe that is what throws people off of my shyness. but i think those that know me well will attest otherwise--that the smile & the friendliness are for real, but they seem to overshadow the quiet girl who bestows these qualities on the world around her.

yep, that's me. little miss quiet the moment i feel out of my element but always with a friendly smile. something i used to hate about myself but have finally just embraced as part of who i am. and that is apparently far more apparent to myself than the world around me.