belated birthday thoughts
my dad's birthday was on the 18th. i didn't make any reference to it but that doesn't mean i forgot about it (not that any of you would know even if i did right? lol). quite the contrary though. i *did* remember. and i called & left him a message on the answering machine when no one picked up. i wasn't ready to talk about this until now though. i guess i was hoping that i would have something better to say about it.
it's been 5 days. no response. why am i not in a panic, you wonder? well...this isn't the first time this has happened. it happened on Father's Day. and before that it was Easter. in the almost 4 years that i have been living in FL, i have had to be the one to call CT on any given holiday if i expect to talk to anyone in my family. even on my own birthday.
i'm tired of being the one who calls every time, leaves a message & no one even calls back to acknowledge that i called in the first place. my feelings are a little stomped on. i know that i'm the one that moved 1200 miles away. but does that automatically mean i have to be the one to maintain all the contact? is this my "punishment" for leaving home & striking out on my own? i don't know...but i'm worn out from being the one responsible for staying in touch. it makes me sad because i've always been a daddy's girl...and suddenly i feel like i've been written off as the family member that abandoned everyone to move to FL. doesn't seem fair somehow. none of my CT friends have a problem staying in touch. they call. they send cards. they write email. they find me on AIM. some have even been down to visit. i guess i just don't understand. i would have thought i might lose contact with a few friends (which it turns out, i haven't!) moving so far away but i never dreamed it would be my family that wouldn't at least meet me half way. =(
ok i'm done.
you will now be returned to your regularly scheduled non-sensical shiny happy blogging.
5 with their own thoughts:
You shouldn't feel bad - but it's human nature... unfortunatly it is quite often that the ones we look up to the most... let us down the most.
maybe your dad misses you alot and its easier for him not to talk to you then it is for him to talk to you. I've done a little catching up on what I missed, and I think I remember reading that you went back home and if I read correctly, you didn't see him then? If I read it correctly, that IMHO would hurt
some background for you "anonymous": i didn't see my family because when i went up the year before, i had specific plans to see them, told them exactly when i would be there & when i got there no one was home. IMHO *that* hurt. i have been down here for almost 4 years & they haven't been down even once in that much time while i have been back in CT FOUR times--this also hurts, especially when they can vacation in VA but not come the rest of the way to FL to see me even once. or we could talk about how he hasn't called me even ONCE in almost 4 years, not even on MY birthday. if i want to talk to him, i have to call & i usually get the answering machine & no one calls back. yep i am defensive about this. i don't doubt that he misses me but how many times do i have to call & talk to a machine that no one ever responds to & how many times to i have to makes plans to go to CT to see him just to have him not be home when he knows i'll be there?
thanks Chele =)
I wasn't trying to judge..either way...if it came out that way...it was not meant to...their are obviously deeper issues that a blog isn't the place for...
That being said, when I pop in, I'll still tease ya about your minnie TWC page.
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