reflections on Christmases long ago past...

it's funny what trips off a chain of memories with no warning at all sometimes. ever since the last few mornings were so crisp & chilled, i've been thinking back on the Christmas Eves of my childhood.

we had the best traditions for Christmas during my growing up years. one of my very favorite ones was my grandmother's sister & brother-in-law--Aunt El & Uncle Will--would have a huge family party at their house every year. cousins & aunts & uncles...the house was jam-packed with family. decorated to the hilt with all these great heirloom quality ornaments. the old-fashioned Christmas tree with the large bulb lights & real tinsel. the dining room table laden with all sorts of potluck dishes. the kitchen filled with ladies & cookies & desserts. the cool storage room downstairs off the finished basement connecting to the garage, filled with the red plastic cases of soda--the original glass Pop Shoppe bottles in all the yummy flavors. the whole affair was done up in true German Christmas fanfare: family & merriment & lots of happy noise.

i remember that we would chomp at the bit for 8pm when we would finally leave for Auntie's house, clamoring at Dad, asking for the millionth time when we would be going. the excitement as we loaded into the car for the 15 minute trip to Hill Street.

i remember in living detail the lawn blanketed in snow, hard & crunchy. the 4 foot lit candle & the tin colder & the candy cane that adorned the snow drifts in the front yard along the sidewalk, glowing in the darkness. the bite of the icy cold night air as it burned your nose & turned your breath into a frosty cloud & the cold that threatened to take your breath right away. the click of dress-up shoes on the frozen concrete of the sidewalk leading to the front steps.

everything in contrast to the warmth--both physical & emotional--that waited inside.

i remember playing with the cousins & running up & down the stairs from the basement to the living room where the adults sat in chairs lining every available wall space--looking for Dad or Gram or Gramp for a quick minute & then dashing off again.

i remember the thrill of excitement at finally being old enough to leave with Dad at 10:30 to go to the 11pm Candlelight Christmas Eve service. the quiet hush filling a dimly lit church filled with pointsettias & garland & evergreen. the quiet not at all solemn but of joyful anticipation, that awestruck quiet with which you gaze at a newborn baby...when in essence that was exactly what we had come to do. the soft warm glow of a church filled with candlelight as we passed the flame one to another & sang old familiar carols. the voices swelling up as we sang Silent Night in both English & German. the calls of Merry Christmas we wished to the other worshipers as we crossed back through the chilly parking lot, scurrying to our cars & our homes & our families & our parties.

i remember getting back to Auntie's just before midnight & all the kids gathering in the foyer, listening intently for that string of jingling bells & that HO! HO! HO! coming up that front sidewalk. SANTA! and his sack of gifts for all the children. popcorn & miniature candy canes being tossed out to all the laughing adults.

i remember gathering downstairs as the crowd started to thin out in the wee hours to sit around the piano & the accordian players to sing Christmas carols.

i remember 2 or 3am when we would finally bundle up again to head for home. we were tired but still exhilarated & running on childhood holiday adrenaline i am sure. we watched out the car windows, peering into the night sky that can only exist in the middle of a winter's night, cold, black as coal, studded with gleaming diamond-stars, watching to see if we might spot Santa & his reindeer whizzing through the sky enroute to another home to fill with gifts. we had to hurry you know...Santa wouldn't stop if we weren't in bed & we didn't want him to pass over our house. we rushed into warm jammies & made sure a couple cookies & some cider was waiting for Santa (who was tired of milk by now you know). i would beg to lay on the couch till i got sleepy with the Christmas tree glowing in multi-colored light in the darkened room, our Christmas stockings still hanging limp & hopeful of being filled with treats & treasures when a small boy & girl finally had sugar plums dancing in their heads...

wonderful sweet childhood memories.

in this spirit, i am getting ready & heading out to the 10pm Christmas Eve service i finally found...to relive a little of the Christmas magic that still glows like candlelight inside my heart & my memory.