in my life

the photo above is my computer desktop at home. "so what?" you ask. (and if you have Windows XP you might even recognize that it is one of the sample photos that comes with that O/S) there is something about that photo though that takes me back to a simpler place & time in my life. back to when i was a child.

every weekday morning, my father would load my brother & i up in the car & drive us up to his parents' house before he left for work. a quick 10 minute drive from downtown to the outer edge of Bristol. "the Hill" we called it. we would drive up busy Route 6 to make a turn onto Matthews Street where we would slowly wind our way up & around, curving off onto Perkins Street, further & further into "the country". as we'd crest the top of Chippens Hill, off to the left side of the car was a scene that looked almost exactly like this. green grass folding out. an old country fence. a wide open horizon softly painted the pastel hues of morning (though minus the actual sunrise as the real life view was toward the west). everything serene & undisturbed. the earth waking up to another day. winter. spring. summer. autumn. from new life springing forth to rich summer bounty. bright fall foliage to pristine untouched snowdrifts. each new day brought its very own unique beauty.

sure some mornings it was rainy. or snowing. or foggy. or still dark. but the mornings i remember look just like that photo. and as a result that photo brings me peace. it's kind of like life in that aspect i guess: sometimes rainy...or cold...or foggy. but it's the good memories that we keep close to the surface that keep us warm & bring us comfort when more dark days pass through as they inevitably do.

i've toyed around with changing it, as it has been my desktop for almost 2 years now, but every time i consider doing so, i just as quickly realize that i can't tear myself away from that view. i've already left the real thing behind by moving to FL...and now with my grandparents passed on, there wouldn't be much cause for me to relive that little journey much anyway. but it lives on in my heart & when that photo greets me every time i sit down at the computer, it takes me back to a place i love. to a time when i felt safe & innocent & like the world held immeasureable possibility.

There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

("In My Life" by The Beatles)