Monday Stream of Consciousness: April 19, 2010
I've found myself taken aback by how many times I hear the Today Show interviewing a child or the family of a child about teenage violence. Bullies have always existed. I suspect they will til the end of the time. There will always be those people who derive satisfaction or power or confidence from picking on anyone they deem weaker or less important. But it positively sickens me how far it has gone in recent times. No more does a squabble turn into a bloody nose or a black eye, some tousled hair, a ripped pant leg & two scowls as the participants await the arrival of called parents. Children are now beating one another to within an inch of their lives, pummeling each other into comas, lighting other children on fire, driving pre-teens to suicide. I cannot wrap my brain around this. I just...cannot. How does this happen? I've often observed that there are few tyrants more merciless than children, but on their own levels. And then it occurred to me, the example adults are setting & sadly, maybe I'm not all that shocked. We criticize, berate, slander, gossip and tear down our peers every chance we get it seems. Blog comments are left by anonymous haters. Message boards are frequented by trolls. We flip each other off on the roads. There is such a blatant disregard & disrespect for others all around us...and I find myself no longer surprised, because children are, and always have been, mirrors of what they see & learn. That leaves me simply feeling appalled. And more determined than ever to be careful of how I treat people. If you have nothing nice to say, shut your mouth & walk away. Give your attention to something that truly does matter. Like the Red Sox. And their dark spiral into the ground. Except that it's only the beginning of third week of a six-month season & there is a lot of baseball left to be played. There will be slumps & injuries & hot streaks & rookie sensations. In the mean time, I will take an April slump to one in September. And if we shed a few more Pink Hats during this early season hiccup, it won't hurt my feelings. They will be donning pinstripes or sunbeam gear by May. See? This is where we need to keep the taunting: good-natured ribbing & friendly banter & proverbial beatdowns of the 10-0 variety with your preferred team on the double-digits side of the shutout. Unless you root for the Yankees or the Rays. ;-)
3 with their own thoughts:
The current hot national bullying story takes place only a mile or so from my house, and my feelings on it have been well-Twittered and Facebooked. (In short, I'm glad the sociopaths were charged, and appalled that the adults who knew about it are skating.)
That said, there's a lot of wisdom in your post. I'll only emphasize that kids need to be taught empathy in this world, and it's something we'll always drive home to our son. He's going to learn, probably with many slipups, how to treat people with compassion and empathy, and he will also learn how to defend himself if it comes to that. And then we'll cross our fingers.
Joe: It's sad that we have enough to require differentiating between them. I have to say, for an unedited stream of consciousness, I'm kind of pleased with the way these thoughts presented themselves. I just let it flow. I applaud the way you are choosing to raise your son. So many people just don't bother to teach them how to treat others. I agree with being able to defend yourself--especially since so many other parents don't teach their children empathy & respect!--and ultimately there is only so much you can do, but setting the stage & being a good example just don't seem to be priorities for very many people anymore.
i can't stand childhood bullies... and recently i've come to realize maybe these childhood bullies never grow out of that phase.
and lately i've been wondering if there is something in particular about my personality that invites people to tell me what they think of me.
this age of 33 seems to be an uncomfortable growth spurt in my life! 34 can't come soon enough. ;)
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