Sunday, March 27, 2005

sometimes photos are bittersweet...

Lake Ostego (photo by me!)


Isn't it strange what makes you homesick out of a clear blue sky? On any given day, I love my life in Florida. Don't get me wrong. Of course there are people I miss like crazy & deep down I am inherently "New England" but Florida is home now.

I was just flipping through some photos though & I came across some of Fly Creek Cider Mill & Orchard from a few years back. There is this tiny little town nestled into the mountains of New York named Fly Creek. It's about 20 minutes outside of Cooperstown & if you didn't wander a little way off the beaten path, you would never know it existed. Back when I still lived in CT, I used to love a day trip into this area of New York, just me & my dad. It's about a 4 hour trip up but so worth it. We are only on one small stretch of highway the whole trip & at that, it's not a very busy one. Other than that, it's all these windy backroads with quaint little towns and farm country and the Catskill Mountains,just the two of us, some good music, some conversation. We have it all down to a science. I drive the first half of the trip. We stop at McDonald's to grab my dad a coffee & a quick bathroom break. Then he drives the rest of the way. We stop at this little place we affectionately call "the fly trap" because without fail there are always a dozen or more flies trapped inside banging on the window screens--darned if we even know the real name of the place LOL--but the pastries are yummy & we grab a couple of homemade doughnuts & stretch our legs.

Then it's on the road again, next stop Fly Creek. It's this neat functioning cider mill & orchard with a country store & a snack bar. We browse the store, get some cider (which they sell "regular" and frozen so that it will keep for those who are on a trip like ours) & other goodies. Then we have a snack, complete with some hot apple cider & some sort of apple dessert: apple crisp or apple pie or hot apple topped sundaes. Yum... With our stomachs content, we hit the road again, our destination close but not before one more stop along the way. On another side road, tucked away from first glance is the
Cooperstown Brewing Company where you can take a tour of the brewery & sample some of their specialty beers. My dad always buys a case or 2 to savor during the hot summer months. He's practically on a first name basis with the brothers who own the place but this is just that sort of area: small towns where faces are familiar and people are still friendly & pleasant. Next stop for us is the ultimate destination: Cooperstown, home to The Baseball Hall of Fame. We always wander through these halls, see the memorabilia, the latest tributes. I am especially intrigued by some the photography that they display there now as well. But even if you aren't into baseball, the town still holds so much appeal. There are neat little shops all up & down Main Street that have a flavor of baseball of course, but also something distinctly New England. We aimlessly meander the street, stopping at a few old favorites (we've been doing this since I was a small child) & here too it's amazing how people stop to wave & smile, not just friendly but that look of recognition that warms the expression on their faces. My dad goes up probably 4 or 5 times from May through October (I used to make the trip with him in Ocotber for my birthday and the foliage) and these people have seen me grow up. There are a bunch of little places to eat scattered throughout "downtown" but we have our favorite places: a light lunch at the Pioneer Patio, where the owner will keep the restaurant kitchen open just for us even if he was about to lock up & he will stand behind the bar, chatting with us as we eat, talking a little baseball with my dad, always remembering my dad's favorite teams.

After lunch, we shop some more and then we drop our packages off at the car and take a long walk up & down the tiny streets, absorbing the atmosphere, looking at the houses that have all the old New England charm you would expect. We always end up on the banks of Lake Ostego (pictured above), enjoying the conversation or simply the comfortable silence. Then it's dinner at one of the restaurants "downtown" where there is a baseball theme to the establishment & they of course serve beers from the brewery we had visited earlier. We eat & relax & then as the sun is starting to set, we head for the car to start the ride home, tired from the day but that happy relaxed sort of tired that comes from a day full of time well spent. There was never any rushing around, just an easy pace. My dad drives the first leg of the trip and at McDonald's, we switch & I finish it up.

The whole trip is comforting & predictable as are the memories I have of it. It's one of the things I miss the most, being so far away now. And tonight the photos made me a bit homesick: for autumn in New England, for traditions, for my dad. But the memories are sweet & warm and they make me smile.

If you ever find yourself on a getaway to this area of New York, make sure you get yourself off the interstates & give yourself the freedom to explore, to find your own special memories. It's a place I hold near & dear to my heart...

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Arisen

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them: "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here. He has risen!" (Luke 24:1-6) Posted by Hello


I am not one of those people who talks very often about my faith & what I believe. If someone were to ask me about it, I have no problem sharing it with them but I do not often bring it up myself. I suppose there are people who think that I should but I am the quiet type in just about everything & that is reflected here as well. I simply believe what I believe in the way that I was raised--it is such a personal thing for me.

But this morning I'm going to do something slightly out of character. You may feel free to read or not read of course, but I am simply going to share what Easter means to me--surprise surprise, in the words of a song. It is an Easter hymn that I remember singing for most of my life but it professes the joy & triumph I feel in my heart when I an reminded of what Easter means to me as a Christian: By Grace through Faith I am Saved and if I Believe, Heaven will one day be my Treasure.

He's risen, He's risen, Christ Jesus the Lord
He opened Death's prison, the Incarnate Word
Break forth hosts of heaven in jubilant song
And earth, sea and mountain, the paean prolong.

The Foe was triumphant when on Calvary
The Lord of creation was nailed to the tree
In Satan's domain did the hosts shout & jeer
For Jesus was slain whom the evil ones fear.

But short was their triumph, the Savior arose
And Death, hell and Satan, He vanquished His foes
The conquering Lord lifts His banner on high
He lives, yea, He lives and will never more die.

Oh where is thy sting Death? We fear thee no more
Christ rose and now open is fair Eden's door
For all our transgressions His blood does atone
Redeemed and forgiven, we now are His own.


If you believe as I believe, then today you know peace & joy. If you believe something else, then I wish you a happy day to celebrate Spring & rebirth & a new season. Whatever you believe, I wish you a very Happy Easter.

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

could it be...?

so sweet Posted by Hello


mojo? is that you...? maybe i *do* have some creativity left in me after all!

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just another quick thought

still listening to be as you are. suddenly very intrigued by one line from track 8

french kissin' life square in the mouth

hmmmmm...going to think on this for a bit...

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found some new music

be as you are (songs from an old blue chair): Kenny Chesney Posted by Hello


i don't know how many of you out there reading this thing like country music (i like all sorts of music which may not be evident by my posts lol but if you check out the list under in my cd player you will see that i *do* actually listen to other things as well!)...

anyway. i checked out the Listening Party for Kenny Chesney's latest release be as you are (songs from an old blue chair) and i have to say i'm loving it. very light & tropical. some songs happy, others as peaceful as a secluded hideaway in paradise. maybe you're like me & where you live is tropical so this feels comfortable, like the soundtrack for home...or maybe you are currently digging out of yet another snowdrift (hey?! isn't it supposed to be SPRING...?? i am confused...) & could use a little tropical to take you away to someplace you could thaw out for a bit.

regardless i am loving it so i'm sharing...i'd love to know what you think. (i am especially addicted to track 13, the acoustic version of old blue chair...)

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Friday, March 25, 2005

welcome home

come on in... Posted by Hello


Just a quick congratulations to someone super important to me. She's been waiting for this for years. And (gotta love her!) she didn't start out as the most patient girl you've ever met. But having a baby & the process of building a house have brought her a long way. Oh she's still the Heather I know & dearly love. But she's learned the value of things that are truly worth waiting for. I hear it in the way she talks now. It's not easy to wait, but in the end, it's worth it.

So welcome home friend. Hope you make a million sweet memories there. Birthday parties & Christmases of course. But everyday memories too. First steps. Bedtime stories. Laughter. Seasons passing by. And always the echo of family & friends & good times in your heart.

Love ya girl...

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

*yawn*

we talk about being a "morning person" or a "night owl". i'm something of both. it's that middle of the day slump, 1-3pm, that i struggle to keep my baby blues bright. and open lol. i just drag.

and i mean d....r....a....g

it doesn't matter how much or how little sleep i got the night before (although 6 solid hours is my optimum). it doesn't matter if i went to bed early or stayed up half the night. it doesn't matter if i was up with the sun (typically the case) or if i slept in. it doesn't matter what i'm doing (or should be doing as the case may be) when 1pm rolls around. all i know is that day in & day out, for those 2 hours, i would be perfectly content to just close my eyes & take a nice little nap.

so...if anyone needs me, look under my desk where i am likely curled up, peacefully snoozing. i think i missed my calling in life: i should have been my dog. =P

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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

yum

Just thought I would share a yummy little recipe for anyone who's ready for some Spring flavors to wake up their tastebuds. =)

Zesty Chicken with Spring Vegetables over Pasta

(bear in mind that this is a recipe for one serving so just increase the amounts to suit your needs)

1 good-sized chicken breast cut into bite-sized pieces
1 small yellow summer squash cut into thin slices
1 small zucchini squash cut into thin slices
1 small to medium-sized plum tomato, chopped into 1-inch pieces
1 serving of cooked pasta, shape of your choice, hot
Italian salad dressing
Grated parmesan cheese


Warm a large skillet over medium-high heat. Pour approximately 1/8 cup of Italian dressing (per chicken breast) into the skillet with JUST A SPLASH of water. Add pieces of chicken & sautee until no longer pink, maybe 3 or 4 minutes. Add in slices of yellow squash and zucchini; continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until chicken is cooked thoroughly & squash is desired tenderness. Add in tomato just for the last minute--you don't want it to be overcooked, just enough to warm through & absorb some of the flavors.

Pour hot pasta into a bowl. Mix in chicken & veggies. Top with 1/4 cup Italian dressing (per serving) & parmesan cheese to preferred amount. Toss together until mixed well.


I wish I had a ditigal camera to show you how yummy this looks. It's so bright & colorful, it is as appealing to the eye as it is to the mouth . =)

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Monday, March 21, 2005

just a thought

Considerate: (con·sid·er·ate) adjective1 : marked by or given to careful consideration : CIRCUMSPECT 2 : thoughtful of the rights and feelings of others

do you have someone in your life that always treats you with consideration? have you acknowledged & thanked them for it?

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Saturday, March 19, 2005

me too...of course!

If ever a quote was meant for 2 friends, this one is it!

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another 'What! You too? Thought I was the only one.'" (c.s. lewis)

Somewhere around a year ago, our aimless paths crossed. I don't know about her but I have NO idea what I'd do without her now. Well...I'd still be confused by where that missing third of my brain was hiding--and yes Andie, I would not laugh nearly as much! lol...

Speaking of missing thirds of brains. Let me just inform you, in case you were unaware of this phenomenon, that sharing one brain between 4 girls does not come highly recommended for the faint of heart. Or for anyone who wants a rational explanation for why the whole box of ziploc bags has taken up residence in the freezer. Or where the HECK those books went that you *just* saw.

Plus if you are paying attention, I said THIRDS...and FOUR GIRLS. That would mean that at least one of us is stuck without any brain to use at all (like it makes any real difference lol) or better yet someone is being a brain-hog & dancing around merrily laughing at the others stumbling around all silly.

I guess what I'm saying is that I would not only be short some brain cells without my girls but completely lost. Doesn't matter that I've known one of them for almost 26 years, another for a little over three...and one for less than 12 months. Fact is I've known them all my life & I just happened to stumble across them when the stars lined up and the time & place were right.

And this was the piece of the puzzle that snapped it all into place. You know, the proverbial reason for the rhyme. After all how many people can you say something completely insane to & their response is not "you crazy whack job!" but an incredulous "ME TOO!!" I don't even know why we are surprised anymore. I'm so glad I was lucky enough to find the "of course" that matches up with my "me too!"

andie! =) Posted by Hello

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

a little giggle

pooch cafe 3.17.05 Posted by Hello

(hint: if this is too small for you to read, try clicking on the comic strip for a larger view!)

I love this comic strip. =) Hope you had a great day. Don't forget to live a little--even if that means a drink of blue water is necessary! LOL...

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

what's your "if heaven"?

If Heaven
(click on the link for the "If Heaven" full length video...)


Yes, I know. It's country music. I know it's not for everyone. If you truly can't stand it & not even looking at the totally yummy guy who sings it can entice you to survive listening to it just once, then do a search & locate the lyrics for yourself. Better yet, click here--I've even saved you the trouble.

Ok so we're all on the same page now...well except for those of you who are enthralled by staring at Andy lol...will this help to lure you back here for a couple of minutes?



Anyway, as I was about to say...

This song makes me think. It makes me think about all those things--some little & others not so much little--that bring us some sort of happiness. Things that indeed would make the obscure notion of Heaven something we could maybe comprehend. Times & places & simple pleasures that could make our fumbling minds focus on the sort of joy that awaits us. Things that if "brought with us" could be our tangible, comprehensible source of joy & comfort for perhaps eternity, helping us grasp things that are well beyond our present understanding.

Have you ever thought about what your "if heaven" would consist of?

If heaven was an hour, it would be sunset over water, brilliant & spectacular & utterly breathtaking. Every glowing shade of intense color. Warm light washing over the whole sky, painting the clouds colors you didn't know could exist, reflecting its awesome beauty in the waters below it.

If heaven was a time in my life, it would be 1994, when I was unjaded by losing loved ones, the whole world stretched before me with endless possibility, love was not yet a scar on my heart but a glorious ideal.

If heaven was a place, it would be as pure & simple as being wrapped snug in the arms of the main I love, my head resting back on his shoulder & his smile warming me up from the inside out.

If heaven was a scent, it would be my Grandma's apple pie baking. Sweet & spicy, promising to delight all the senses when it emerged from the oven. There was laughter & a sense of home & togetherness & family that nothing else since has been able to capture or recreate.

If heaven...these are good things. Happy memories. And If that's what heaven's made of...

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

on love

so treat your love like a firefly
like it only gets to shine
for a little while
("me & charlie talking", miranda lambert)

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

something i like about myself

i have the world's softest heart. it kills me to see someone cry. i hate to know someone's feelings have been hurt. or worse that *I* hurt them. step it up a notch to knowing someone important to me is having a rough day & my heart just aches.

i wish that i could make it all go away. i wish i could bring a smile back to their heart, if not immediately their face. i wish i could hug away whatever is wrong.

this is the real world. i know that i can't. i know it's not that easy to fix bad days. the reality of it is, that doesn't stop me from wanting to do so anyway.

that's who i am. i like that about myself.

found this quote that i *love*:
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.
(Leo Buscaglia)


i hope my love is felt. regardless, i think that i'll try harder.

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check it out

Life Colors

Something else I found to amuse myself. I am always "the blues".

You scored mainly in the Water-Sky quadrant. This 'Blue' quadrant highlights the water sign of your personality and your tendency to be cool and free-flowing in most circumstances. Water from the sky provides the necessary resources for growth and this is a feature of your approach to life. You will enjoy the freshness of new ideas and actively seek these out, either by talking to others or by reading.

People who map into this quadrant will enjoy examining problems or making discoveries. Consequently, you may sometimes tend to take your time in coming to decisions which affect your day-to-day life. If there are any uncertainties, your natural reaction will be to postpone things until you are sure.

You are unlikely to enjoy conflict situations which, more than likely, will create stress for you. In these circumstances you may well be a 'worrier' and this could affect your health. As a result you will usually move to defuse any potential conflicts well before they occur.

You will be a considerate person and choose your words carefully so that you don't upset others. Sometimes however, you may be so subtle that people don't realize what you are feeling about a particular issue. You may need to check that people fully understand your views and incorporate these into their decision making.

Being a sky person, you may well have a strong imagination which causes you to fantasize about the future. Future possibilities interest you greatly whereas the past is something you can readily put behind you. However, be careful that you don't live too much in the future. There are the realities of day-to-day living to think about.

Kinda interesting. This was right on target. At least for the way I see myself anyway. Well except for the past being something I can readily put behind me. Sometimes I wish that were the case but what are you gonna do right?

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Saturday, March 12, 2005

cool find =)

What's Your Birthday Color?

Found this cool site while lurking on another blog. Had to try it out. Here's my results:

Strart by clicking their link to "What's your birthday color?" Then you pick your birth month. (See?! I *told* you all I get a birthday month! Ha!!) Mine, of course, is October; my color: Cerulean. Peaceful. Posied. Balanced. The color for the month of October is Cerulean. Calm and soothing. Cerulean signifies love, beauty and balance. Cerulean embodies the essence of peace and serenity, while inspiring us to be strong and to take decisive action. Venus, the planet that rules the month of October, governs love and beauty.

Then you select you actual birth date. 12. Eggshell Blue. Popular. Clever. Expressive. Socially adept. People love you at their gatherings. You absorb data easily and your mind is quick as a whip.

Kinda cool. I know that Cerulean is one of my favorite shades of blue & I do most definitely thrive on peace, love, balance and serenity. Not sure that the Eggshell Blue commentary suits how I see myself though. I prefer to be one-on-one or at the most, in small groups. Certainly not the center of attention. And popular? ME?? lol...

Still a cool toy to play with...

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paradise found...almost

I am not sure how this is possible but I don't have a photo of orange blossoms.

Huh? (I imagine you are thinking...)

I walked the pup this morning. I went outside to be greeted by what can only be classified as a perfect March morning in Florida. Warm breeze. Cloudless sky in the most brilliant shade of blue. And *breathe deep* the perfume of orange blossoms. Love this. I fell in love with them 3 years ago when I arrived & I live for every subsequent March. It's the only time the air smells this heavenly sweet with the scent of these blossoms. Every time it tickles my nose, I have no choice but to breathe it in hungrily & sigh.

Added bonus that the weather is near-perfect: warm, no humidity, just enough breeze--but only for the month of March. Something barometrical happens when Floridians flip the calendar to April. I swear. You wake up April 1st to "sticky" & Mother Nature is not fooling one bit! I digress. (Not surprised are you. lol...)

It's mornings like this, walking out into my own corner of paradise, that I wish the hardest to have a digital camera. Sure I could take a shot with my regular "film camera" but by the time I finish the roll & have it processed, I feel like the moment is lost & I am only trying to back-pedal & recapture it. I wish I could show you NOW.

My intent was to come in here & pop my ramblings out topped with a photo of my beloved orange blossoms. I am dismayed to go through my stack of photos, searching for the one to scan in, and find none. And thus the opening statement. Which reminds me, I need to go back outside with my camera & take some pictures for next time...

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Friday, March 11, 2005

Leader of the Pack

Brett Favre (photo from www.packers.com) Posted by Hello


I know, I know. What is the preoccupation, the obsession, with football? Can't help it. Words can't tell you how thrilled I am to have another season to watch Brett Favre play the game. I heard it described perfectly as I half-listened to Sports Center while I finished getting ready for work this morning: He may not be the best athlete ever, but there is a very persuasive arguement that he may be the best *football player* ever. I mentioned this way back in December. It's this passion that just consumes him. You can see that he loves what he does. I find a driving inspiration in that.

Witnessing passion in others just inspires me. I might see it in the way he plays football just as easily as I might see it in the way someone scraps a layout or captures their thoughts in a written format. You can just tell when a person is doing something that he or she believes in, when the craft, whatever it may be, wells up from a driving force deep within.

You don't see people being truly passionate about what they do very often anymore, and so I'm not ready to be finished seeing that kind of passion & I am happy for one more football season to soak it in.

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Thursday, March 10, 2005

Do I have an off-switch today?? LOL

It's haircut day! It's haircut day! I don't even know why I'm *that* excited. It's not like I'm going to do something new & shocking lol. I want to but I also want to keep it short & cute & "flippy" & not "weird"...and EASY. There are only so many options available to me fitting those criteria. And try as I might, I can't find a picture online anywhere of the way Courteney Cox had hers when she wore it short during one of the earlier seasons of Friends. Hey if anyone has any suggestions (with a photo example I can share with my stylist lol) feel free to forward them my way!

Until then, I stick with cleaning up the same-old same-old. And the excitement comes from 10 weeks since my last hair cut--I typically go every six--and I'm feeling a little too shaggy. Besides, when my hair gets this long, it gets a little to big for its britches & forgets that I should be the one controlling what we look like when we walk out the door. (Ha...who am I trying to kid? I've never been in control of my hair *ever*...)

Man would somebody just tell me to be quiet already today? LOL

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awww man...

by Andie Posted by Hello


Ok I kinda wasn't prepared for this. Got me all sniffly & teary-eyed first darn thing in the morning. I normally hate seeing myself in pictures too--like hearing your own voice recorded sounds strange, I always think I don't look quite how *I* see myself. But it isn't the horror of the pictures drawing up a stray tear or 2...these are happy. Nothing tops trying to be a good friend & having someone whose opinions you value tell you you scored dude! =) I didn't need the recognition girl. Just knowing I got your day turned in a different direction was more than enough for me. And I'll let you get away with posting a pic of me I guess. =P LOL...

Got those lucky (if you say so) fingers crossed for ya!!

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005

Looking Back 3 Years

Funny how time & distance change you
The roads you take don't always lead you home
You can start a love with good intentions
And then you look up & it's gone
("Me & Charlie Talking", Miranda Lambert)


3 years ago today. That would be 1096 days (if you're checking my math that includes the leap year in 2004--I know I'm bad with numbers but give me a *little* credit huh? lol...) that I have lived in Florida. Not too shabby for a girl who always lived within 15 minutes of her birthplace and who had never set so much as a toe down in the state of Florida before March 9, 2002! Talk about a leap of faith...Ok so some of it didn't turn out as planned but I must have forgotten to check my crystal ball that day. I like who I am now anyway & I'm happy here. It's home now. I've come alot further than that initial 1200 miles but the destination is worth it. There are a few special people I would like to transplant down here with me (you'd think they'd be sick of snow by now! LOL) but thanks to email, AIM & unlimited long-distance plans for Alexander Graham Bell's nifty invention, I've still got them close by in those long stretches between actual visits. And I have my Florida "support system" now (aka the Andi(e) show & a guy with a killer smile) & they make my sun shine even on rainy days like today.

I know I whine alot...but really...life isn't too bad. =)

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005

what are they DOING to me?!

I don't understand what's going on here. Three-time Super Bowl Champs. I can understand letting guys go who haven't been contributing to the team to bring in fresh players who *can* get out there & play for the money the team is spending. But why--someone PLEASE explain to me WHY--have they not picked up the option for Troy Brown?? I am pulling my hair out here! So what if he makes a little bit more money! It's not like he didn't play every conceivable side of the ball. He's earned his keep AND the respect of the team. He played his offense position well, in addition to stepping up & playing some mighty fine special teams & doing a bang-up job filling a hole on a very depleted defense. He's been with them for years and he doesn't *want* to go to another team. He's a team leader and they've already potentially lost another key to the morale of the team with the uncertainty of Tedy Bruschi's health making his return questionable at best. Not to mention losing both coodinators. I'm not feeling good about the 2005 season...

And why hasn't Brett Favre made his decision yet? Boys, you are *killing* me. I can't lose both the adrenaline rush of watching the Patriots come out & take charge AND no more Favre-ball...

I guess I have to wait & wonder...

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Wednesday, March 2, 2005

do you believe in magic...?

cinderella castle


There is something about this photo. I love the perspective. I love that it isn't the same photo everyone takes of Cinderella Castle. I love the way the late afternoon sun lights the tower. I love that it gives a true feeling of how small you are in comparison to it. I love that *I* took it...and sometimes I can't believe that I captured it. Me.

But more than that, I look at it and I believe in magic.

Now let's get something straight. I don't believe in Cinderella or think that there's a prince or a fairy god mother or a special glass slipper out there waiting for me.

But I believe in feeling the magic of loving someone way down deep in my heart. And I believe in that intoxicating, overwhelming sense when something much bigger than I am takes hold of everything that I believed was decidedly UN-magical & shows me that happiness is for real. And I believe in getting swept right off my own two feet when I was least looking for it.

It has nothing to do with this castle or this photo...but I *do* believe in magic.

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Monday, February 28, 2005

Crazy Monkey Love

a girl & her monkey =)


Love at first sight. 11pm. Her mother introduced her to him. She grabbed on tight & never let him go. That would be Catherine & her monkey. LOL

Ya know, I never remember having a special "lovey" as a kid. I never had a blankie or sucked my thumb, so it fascinates me what drives a baby to select a certain object & bestow upon it her undying devotion & affection. I guess maybe it's practice for being all grown up & falling for that special someone. That someone that makes you feel safe & secure. That someone that is all yours & you do not have to share. And along with it goes the same heartache if that "lovey" is lost along the way somewhere. It's too bad that you can't pick up a few extra copies of that grown up someone for when the unthinkable happens & they get misplaced or need a bath.

I hope you never know that heartache baby girl...not with the monkey *or* the man. (And a word of advice: stay away from the KMB variety. They'll make you crazy & not in that crazy monkey love sort of a way! LOL...)

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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Where Would You Be

I wonder where your heart is
Cause it sure don't feel like it's here
Sometimes I think you wish
That I would just disappear
Have I got it all wrong?
Have you felt this way long?
Are you already gone?

Do you feel lonely
When you're here by my side?
Does the sound of freedom
Echo in your mind?
Do you wish you were by yourself?
Or that I was someone else?
...Anyone else?

Where would you be
If you weren't here with me?
Where would you go
If you were single and free?
Who would you love?
Would it be me?
Where would you be?

Have I become the enemy?
Is it hard to be yourself in my company?
("Where Would You Be", Martina McBride)

This is exactly how I feel when I find out more that I wish I didn't know...I just want to know WHY. And yet it's always just as if nothing has happened...that none of it ever happenend. Who do you think you're kidding anyway?? I've been down this road before...and I always know. Somehow I always know...Well I don't want to know any more ok...?

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Friday, February 18, 2005

20 Things I Love

in no particular order... =)

1. sunsets
2. kisses
3. holding hands
4. the scent of vanilla
5. candlelight
6. flannel sheets
7. the smell of orange blossoms
8. reruns of Friends and Sex & the City
9. real Christmas trees
10. autumn in New England
11. Catherine's laugh
12. the man in my life
13. good phone conversations with one of "my girls"
14. my good morning emails
15. late night IM chats
16. getting photos in the mail or in my inbox
17. new towels
18. ice cream sandwiches
19. snuggling
20. comfortable silence

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Good morning Sunshine =)

hello catherine =)


Who could possibly resist this sweet baby waving for the camera while she drinks her milk?? Not me!! I could just eat her up...but sadly her mother won't let me. (lol)

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Saturday, February 12, 2005

Killing Time

Kinda funny that in almost any circumstance I have all the patience in the world. I can calm a crying baby & get her to sleep without losing my cool. I don't need to know what my gifts are before the holidays or my birthday. So what is my problem tonight? Why does it feel like the clock must be moving backwards or something? I feel "all waited out". What's that they say though? The best things come to those who wait...

*deep breath* Well...I'm waiting...

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Thursday, February 10, 2005

Survivor

alison & dawn =)


I talked to Alison today. =) That always makes me happy. It's funny how we became freinds at such a critical point in my life...all over a piece of cake lol...and even though the friendship was new, the distance my move to Florida put between us never stunted the growth of a fast friendship. If you know me, you know that I don't make friends very easily with other girls. Guys are much simpler to be friends with. I suppose I just can't be bothered with it--I know how girls are: two-faced, manipulative, quick to argue, pretending to forget but not *really* forgetting, vengeful...I guess you could say I've had my share of "toxic friends" travel through my life, leaving in their wake a handful of steadfast girlfriends I love dearly & couldn't imagine life without. And Alison is one of those girls. She's been there, good, bad, ugly, juicy details (as many as I'm willing to share anyway lol)...somehow in the most traumatic moments we manage to get each other through. She inspires me every day with the strength I'm willing to bet she doesn't even recognize in herself. No matter what life throws at her, she takes it like a champ & I don't know how, but she even comes out standing taller than she did before. My little world is a better place for having her in it & I am sure I don't tell her (or any of "my girls") enough...

When I hear this song I can not help but think of her:

I don't believe in self-pity
It only brings you down
I may be the queen of broken hearts
But I don't hide behind the crown
When the deck is stacked against me
I just play a different game
My roots are planted in the past
And though my life is changing fast
Who I am is who I wanna be:
A single mom who works too hard
Who loves her kids & never stops
With gentle hands & the heart of a fighter...she's a survivor

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Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Funny thing about life...

Josh & Kas


So he may contemplate killing me if he finds out I posted a picture of him. I guess we'll have to hope he doesn't see...lol.

Growing up we were like any typical brother & sister. We could play together one minute & be beating each other's brains in, screaming at the top of our lungs the next. Suffice it to say that we did not really get along all that well as kids. It didn't get any better as teenagers (much to the headache of Dad, Gram & Gramp no doubt). I would be a rich woman if I had a buck for every time Gram gave me the "If he went off to war & didn't come home, you would cry bitter tears & miss him" speech. Yeah, ok Gram...what do you know? (Well she *did* have 4 of her own brothers...although that being the case, I would have thought she should have been understanding ME better.) Turns out Gram (as usual) did know what she was talking about. No, Josh hasn't gone off to war. But I have to tell you, bratty little brothers *do* grow up & shock the hell out of you. I have no idea how he took care of Gramp that last year--I know I couldn't have done it. And when did he start noticing girls, never mind get engaged?? I guess now that we're a little older & a little wiser, somehow we're closer. Even with 1200 miles in the middle. I have a lot more respect for the man he has become...and yeah we can even carry on a conversation without any yelling. I guess there's nothing like laughing at Gram's infamous "eyeballs falling out, breaking your head & walking around on bloody stumps" to bring you closer together. Seriously though, I like this guy he matured into. I bet Gram wishes we could have figured this out while she was still here to enjoy the QUIET harmony lol...

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Monday, February 7, 2005

Sometimes you just need to laugh...

Pooch Cafe 2.7.05 Posted by Hello


I know this is small & probably kind of difficult to read. In the first frame Poncho says "They say if life gives you lemons, make lemonade." In the last frame, he says "Life gave me parsnips." Ok so maybe not many people are going to be as amused by this as I am. I guess maybe if it fits your life, you may be better able to see the humor in it...Anyway, made me laugh. =)

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Sunday, February 6, 2005

Simply the Best

Dynasty Delivered (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


Confetti fluttering through the air, fireworks brightening the Jacksonville night sky, another sparkling presentation of the Lombardi trophy. Downright ordinary for the New England Patriots right? Hardly. And as a fan, I have yet to grow tired of watching those boys pull it off. It wasn't pretty. They played an uncharacteristically sloppy first half offensively, finally managing to march down the field for a touchdown as the 2nd quarter was winding down. But whatever happened in that locker room, they came back out & made a statement, scoring again immediately. I have to admit that even though I showed confidence in their post season abilities, I know it's not easy to win the Super Bowl over & over. I watched the first half, horrified by the incomplete passes and repeated 3rd & outs. I watched an emotionless Tom Brady walk on & off the field, knowing that without him finding his game face, the Eagles were going to win. Their presence on the field managed to somehow morph into the team I am accustomed to watching though & it didn't hurt that apparently the Patriots had 2 quarterbacks playing for them...or so it would seem by the number of times McNabb threw into the waiting hands of a New England defender. I laughed as the T.O. factor became meaningless. But then as the seconds ticked away & the Patriots failed to make a critical first down after the Eagles closed the gap to 3 points, I watched through my fingers placed strategically over my eyes & I paced. It definitely was not a pretty win. But it was a win none the less. *whew* Collective sigh of relief from every Patriots fan before the jumping & cheering kicked in. Oh & Freddie Mitchell? What was it exactly that he "had for Rodney Harrison" anyway? I think Rodney caught more passes than Mitchell did. I don't know about anyone else but I'm going to be laughing about that one for a while.

For all those who called them a fluke, the Patriots have now become the team of the new millenium, joining the illustrious ranks of the 1960s Packers, the 70s Steelers, the 80s 49ers and the 90s Cowboys. On top of the world...

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Saturday, February 5, 2005

A Bad Goodbye

I've been bound to leave you, we've known that for awhile
I'm sure it's something I can't do if I can't leave you with a smile
I don't know how far I'll have to go 'til I'm sure those eyes won't cry
And in my mind I've left enough to know that I can't leave you
With a bad goodbye
I'm still bound to leave you, I surely don't know how
My heart won't let me put you through
What my mind says should happen now
I don't know where we'll go from here, there may be no way to fly
And the cloud I'm in just makes it all too clear that I can't leave you
With a bad goodbye
Goodbye, easier said than done
Goodbye, there's no good when you're the one
Whose goodbye you swore would never come
And in my goodbye you're finding none
How can we be so far between where we are and one more try
And any way I look, I've only seen that I can't leave you
With a bad goodbye
("A Bad Goodbye", Clint Black)

Somehow this song makes me sad. I guess when you start out on a path in your life, you never expect it to come to this. And sometimes it just does anyway... =(

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Anticipation

Brady is cool in the pocket. (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


I have nerves tonight. That's not to say that I think my team may not win. It's just that 2 week wait, hearing nothing but the media hyping up the Super Bowl. I just need that opening kick-off to sail through the air & see the Patriots establish their presence immediately to clam me down. I want to get immersed in the game & stop listening to all the speculation. There are many reason why the Patriots are the favorite to win, the least of which is that this isn't unfamiliar territory for them. What I don't understand is how this is their 3rd go-round in the famed Super Bowl, yet there are still those who act like they are a fluke to even be there. After all, Tom Brady is used to the pressure of big games, of THE Big Game. He's undefeated in post-season play. He is somehow even cooler in the pocket in these huge games, making all the right decisions. I'm surely not going to say that McNabb isn't a good QB because he is & he has improved tremendously this year & he has been on quite a roll this season...but it stands to reason that it took him 4 tries to even reach the Super Bowl. All it will take is one set of jitters resulting in one error--the Patriots capitalize on that one error. They LIVE for that one error. Sure he can scramble when he's under pressure but is there someone out there who can honestly tell me how that makes him more intimidating an opponent than the illustrious Manning scoring machine or the white-hot rookie Roethlisberger? Brady is the master of being patient as he waits for the long ball to open up. And if anyone thinks that the Patriots haven't spent the last 2 weeks preparing a defensive package for coming up against Westbrook and Owens and Mitchell (excuse me while I roll my eyes), they obviously don't recognize the coaching genius of Bill Belichick or how he has been only lost a total of 4 games in the last 2 seasons combined, against some much scarier AFC teams. I know that the Patriots physical presence will shut down the Philly receivers regardless of the criticisms that New England's defense lacks the "speed to keep up". Ask Peyton Manning's 5 unstoppable receivers about that would ya? And I know we can rely on Adam Vinatieri's trusty foot. We have the edge of a whole team of play-makers over Philly's McNabb/Westbrook combo & not much else. All the "will he/won't he" nonsense surrounding T.O. overshadows a more poignant appearance by Richard Seymour's timely return. I guess I just need to sit in my chair & feel the comfort of seeing my team march down the field, showing a continually disbelieving NFL audience how it's done yet again...

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Friday, February 4, 2005

*sigh*

This is such a hard week for me. Today my Gram would have been 88 years old. It's hard to have to remember my grandparents' birthdays in such close succession. I try to recall the good times & the wonderful memories, and yes reminiscing does make me smile. But at night, when I have no control over my thoughts & my subconcious takes the reins splilling out into my dream world...it's not so easy...I know that others share my sadness, some the very same sadness as they miss the very same people, and on a much broader spectrum, people everywhere know in their own ways the heartache of recalling loved ones passed on. But today it's just me & the dreams I can't seem to shake...Time heals all hurts right? So when will this one get easier instead of more difficult...?

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Thursday, February 3, 2005

Here Come the Patriots!!

Corey Dillon (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


I am practically twitching waiting for this Sunday's game...but I'm a little sad that this is the last time I'll see this sort of sight for another 7 months...

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Monday, January 31, 2005

Bless the Broken Road

I've been asked why I've called this journal "Thoughts From Along the Broken Road". If you know me, you probably know that music, more specifically song lyrics, can really strike a chord with me. Sometimes it's a line or 2...or even just the basis for a song that I find some personal meaning in. Other times, it's the whole song beginning to end. But for me to truly love a song the words must speak directly to me, feel like someone climbed inside my head & came out holding my thoughts placed neatly into song form.

I've always said things happen for a reason that may not immediately be clear. But no matter what moments have taken place in my life--and like everyone I have some worth remembering & others I wish I could forget but know I never will--I know that I would not be where I am or the person that I am if even one thing was altered. This is a recurring theme in the performing arts. Who hasn't seen "It's a Wonderful Life" where George Bailey learns just how much one life can truly effect the whole world in ways that weren't at first obvious. And maybe you've heard Garth Brooks sing "The Dance":
And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance...

Well, one night I heard a song on one of the multitudes of music award shows playing on the tv in the other room as I half-listened from my seat here in front of the computer. I hardly paid attention at first but something drew me in and before I knew it, I was hearing words that tapped right into my soul:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
("Bless the Broken Road", Rascal Flatts)

There it was. Some song writer somewhere had captured my philosophy on why things happen the way they do, how we can appear to get so far off course from where we wanted to be, yet somehow wake up one day & find that we've actually reached our destination, just by an alternate route. Sometimes I think I know who my broken road has led me to & other times I wonder but I know that in the end the destination will be clear & those loving arms will be waiting for me, asking "what took you so long to get here?" I have to keep believing that & in the mean time, these are my thoughts as I travel along to a destination unknown that I know will feel like coming home.

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

87 years ago today...

...a baby cried. And in my eyes, the world was changed forever for the better.

Happy Birthday Gramp...

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

How can this be?!

catherine =) Posted by Hello


She's got a way about her...
and everywhere she goes
a million dreams of love surround her
("She's Got a Way", Billy Joel)

I'm not sure how this happened but will someone slow this little girl down please! It's only been 14 months since that ultrasound photo was taken!

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Friday, January 28, 2005

Did someone say Patriots??

Rodney Harrison Interception Touchdown! (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


Can this be smart? Freddie Mitchell (fill-in ego for the "other" Philly receiver--you know, the one with the ankle injury who actually *has* a Pro Bowl pedigree) challenging Patriots veteran strong safety Rodney Harrison who plays hard and more importantly, HITS hard? Didn't we learn anything from Vanderjadt's "ripe for the picking" comment? You topped a conference in which TWO teams with an 8-8 record were in the playoffs. WE won a conference by holding off the #1 scoring offense followed a week later by a victory over the defense that allowed the fewest points to be scored all season. We didn't need a challenge, but thanks for making our fire burn that much brighter. Mr. Mitchell, we have something for you too. Take a good look at this photo--get used to seeing it--cause the Patriots are coming.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005

AFC Champions!

Bruschi & the AFC Trophy (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


We're just warming up for holding aloft the Vince Lombardi Super Bowl trophy...stay tuned!

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Happy First Birthday Olivia!

olivia =) Posted by Hello


How adorable is this baby girl?? =) I swear my friends produce the most beautiful babies. Think I could convince one of them to have a couple for me?

Little Olivia:
I hope you know how happy you make your mommy. I can hear it in her voice when she tells me about you. You are what motivates her to further her education, chase a career, not settle for less of a man than she (and you & Tyler) deserve. I know that you were not a pre-planned event. But I can tell you this: you were & are a precious gift, a tiny bright ray of sunshine and I know that your mommy would not go back & do a thing differently. May you always be as strong as your mommy is and stay as beautiful all your life as you are right now, inside & out. Happy first birthday little girl.
Love,
"Auntie" Dawn

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Random Thought for the Day

"A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked." (unknown)

Special thanks to all of you who love me even though the cheese has long ago slid off my cracker. =)

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Monday, January 24, 2005

Destination: Dynasty

Deion Branch catches a 60-yard touchdown pass (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


Here we come Jacksonville! (photo from www.foxsports.com)Posted by Hello


So all you unbelievers, what's your excuse now?? I want one valid reason why the Patriots do not deserve to be in the Super Bowl this year! There's no fluke call that went in their favor. (Hey the tuck rule benefits all teams now anyway.) The officials are now calling the games with a much more strict interpretation of the rules which prevents the defense from being too aggressive toward a quarter back. (Toughen up! You're playing with te big boys now!!) We won fair & square, based on merit & talent, hard play & determination. We play as a team, no one greater or more important than the next. The critics now say all teams should sit up & take notice of how the Patriots organization is run: No nonsense on or off the field. No show-boating. No self-centeredness. Just one smoothly running unit driven toward one goal: move the chains, win the game. Sparkling stats don't matter if you lose. Streaks & records are unimportant. Last year does not matter. The goal is the victory in *this* game. The ultimate victory: NFL Champs, Super Bowl victors. This team is obviously doing something right. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go cheer while my team wins another game! THE game!

GO PATRIOTS!!

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Sunday, January 23, 2005

"I was there"

I know that I already did a post today but I couldn't let the day go by without mentioning something...or rather someONE else. I couldn't let the day go by without saying Happy Birthday to someone who's known me for literally more than 25 years and ISN'T family.

"Remember when?" asked Piglet. "Yes, I was with you," said Pooh, and the two friends smiled at the memory.

That was the card she sent me for Christmas. I think about it so often when I think of her now because that sums it up. We've shared it all one way or another. Well ok...maybe not ALL of it lol. But everything that matters.

So Heather: Happy Birthday best friend. I wish you many many more filled with many many more "Remember when?"s. I wish I could have celebrated with you but you know that you are always in my heart.

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Sunday, January 16, 2005

Not today! Not in OUR house!

Tom Brady proves he's still the man (photo from Fox Sports) Posted by Hello


Super Dillon (photo from www.foxsports.com) Posted by Hello


20 straight home field victories baby! Ain't NO ONE coming into the Patriots' house & walking out the champ! Not even Peyton Manning & his 5 world class receivers. Tell me Touchdown King Peyton: HOW many touchdown passes did you throw for today? Oh, that's right...NONE. Welcome to a game with the "big boys". Enter grit & determination. See the "overcome all obstacles" mentality. Yep, even when you have a wide receiver also playing defense AND special teams because you've suffered so many injuries that you don't have enough guys to cover the gaps & even your back-up players' back-ups have been injured.

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Saturday, January 8, 2005

Let Them Be Little...

Seamus =) Posted by Hello


I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute
How it amazes me, you're changing with every blink
Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon
So let them be little cause they're only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little...
("Let Them Be Little", Billy Dean)

It's amazing to me. I guess after 28+ years, it probably shouldn't. I mean, time obviously passes. But when did it start passing by at an ever-increasing speed? Seems like just 3 minutes ago I was ecstatic hearing the news that Neil & Gosia were expecting a wee small baby. It took FOREVER for him to finally get here (just ask Gosia lol...) & now all of a sudden he's ONE today. He's starting to walk. He's his own little person & getting bigger by the minute. And it's not just Seamus. There's Alison's little Olivia too who will be celebrating the first of what I hope are many many happy birthdays in just a few short weeks. And itty bitty Catherine who is more than half way there herself...

Babies? One desperate plea from your "auntie" in Florida: PLEASE SLOW DOWN!! I'm too far away from your sweet smiles & evolving personalities for you all to grow up this fast! And mommies & daddies: Try to enjoy every minute of it for me too. This is one of the times I wish like heck that I wasn't so far away. Even if you *are* buried under 37 feet of snow. Let them be little as long as you can ok? I know there are days that you probably wish you didn't have to do every little thing for them day after day. That your exhausted body wishes babies had snooze buttons so you could just pull the covers over your head for 5 more minutes. But they'll be big soon enough. Kiss them while you can still catch them. =) And keep sending me pictures.

As I soak in the sweet faces of your precious babies, I am remembering how small & warm & soft they all felt when I got the chance to snuggle them. And as I see them change with each new photo, I ask myself where does the time go...?

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Thursday, January 6, 2005

Remembering Gramp...


October 1993

Everyone should have had the chance to know my Grandpa. He was a big man, not just in stature, but in spirit. He stood at over 6 feet tall but his presence was of quiet strength. He was a man of few words. A hard worker, at home with his hands in the dirt. As strong in faith as he was in body. A soft spot for his wife--my Grandma--"his sweetheart" he would call her. This is the man I choose to remember. The memories that warm my heart on this day are of the man from my childhood, the way he would want to be remembered. The man I want to believe he was restored to as he crossed through those pearly gates to once again take his sweetheart's hand in his own. I can't believe it's been 2 years today since he slipped from this world's tentative grasp & claimed the rich reward his life here had earned him. He was a good man...no, a GREAT man & I miss him daily. I wish I had taken the time more often to thank him for all that he did for me...but as a man of few words, I like to believe that he knew what I was too young & selfish to articulate. And though he doesn't know it, there is another man in my life, not as large in physical presence as my Gramp, but a source of quiet strength none the less...also a man of few words but whose actions speak volumes...a man with a good heart, a warm smile, a gentle touch. He can't replace my Gramp, no one ever could, but he fills a void in my soul. Much like I didn't thank my Grandpa for all he did for me, I don't know how to thank this man either, although the inability to articulate my gratitude now comes not from youthful selfishness so much as from not having the words to express how thankful I truly am to have him in my life. Like my Grandpa though, I think he knows & understands. Men of few words, truly good men like these...they know what we fail to say...but our worlds are so much better for having them there & I'm glad they somehow know it.

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Saturday, January 1, 2005

Another Trip Around the Sun

Hear 'em singing Happy Birthday
Better think about the wish I made
This year gone by ain't been a piece of cake
Every day's a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun
I'm just hanging on while this old world keeps spinning
And it's good to know it's out of my control
If there's one thing that I've learned from all this living
Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go
No, you never see it coming
Always wind up wondering where it went
Only time will tell if it was time well spent
It's another revelation
Celebrating what I should have done
With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun
Yes, I'll make a resolution
That I'll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride...Until it's done
("Trip Around the Sun", Martina McBride & Jimmy Buffet)

I keep hearing this song. (For those of you who don't listen to any country music at all, it's a duet by Jimmy Buffet & Martina McBride.) Ok, so I know it points at reflections on a birthday, but it still seems poignant & significant as we start a new year--to me anyway. 2005...I'm going to venture a safe guess & say that if you're reading this, you are probably already aware that the last year has not been the sparkling highlight of my life. Really the 2 before it weren't much better--albeit for their own unique reasons. I guess if you want to get technical, I've been struggling with the "have a good year" thing since 2000. Doesn't matter if we're marking time from birthday candles to birthday candles or one new calendar to the next, I think I've got the picture now that Life doesn't play fair & it's actually rather heartless, insensitive & even downright cruel some days. Not to mention the particularly twisted sense of humor it appears to relish...*sigh*
I'm going to attempt to take the basic muse of this song & try to make it my mantra for 2005. I hope you all find some snippet in the lyrics to inspire you as the days of the new year unfold before you & whiz right by. Before we know it, we'll all be commenting on where the heck 2005 went & trying to remember to date our checks 2006. Another trip around the sun...I'm going to go for fewer regrets, alot more smiles, some laughter & kisses and knowing that the ones I love knew it all 365 days of the year...Those are the souvenirs I want from my 2005. And when all else fails & I feel my grip slipping won't someone please remind me that "it wouldn't change a thing if I let go"...
Happy New Year

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