Monday, April 30, 2007

And I Quote: April 30, 2007

Cristina: I love it. I love all cakes. Now break the tie.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Preston: With Cristina, I have to be explicit. There would be no wedding, if I wasn't.
Derek: Oh. It's that easy, huh?
Preston: Oh, no... I never said it was easy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Callie (to Addison): So, where's your man-whore?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Addison: This doesn't explain why I spent the entire day looking at Alex Karev, like a puppy at a chew toy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meredith: Talk about divine retribution. He sleeps with his assistant, and a carnivorous fishlodges itself in his penis. That's instant karma if I've ever seen it.
Cristina: Yeah , well Derek wasn't struck by lightning, and neither were you.
Meredith: Addison showed up. I had months of pain & slef-loathing, a crazy ranting mother, and a weird drowning off the side of a dock. I mean, it's no fish in my hoo-hoo, but it's certainly not an easy ride.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Izzie: You've thought a lot about this cake.
Preston: This cake. For this day. With this woman.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meredith: Too often, the thing you want the most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken. It wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

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One-Word Sarcomical Sunday: April 30, 2007

you can find this hosted over at Sarcomical! =)

One-Word Sarcomical Sunday #9: High School Edition, Yo

It's back!

The name of the game this time is HIGH SCHOOL, FOOL. Oh yeah, I'm gonna make you rememember all of those great things about that most hormonal and akward time of your life right at the beginning of the week, no less. After you read mine, go over to
Sarcomical, copy and paste the list into your comment and replace my answers with yours...AS YOU WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THEM AS A HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR. You only get ONE WORD to respond. Have courage, may the force be with you, you are the wind beneath my wings, and all that crap.

Your Shoes: Nike
Your Hair: looooong
Your Worst Fear: speaking
The Gym: badminton
Your Greatest Talent: writing
Your Parents: trusting
Your Favorite Food: fries
Your Greatest Fault: insecure
Your Friends: silly
The Opposite Sex: unattainable
What You Want to Be In 10 Years: married
Your Means of Transportation: others
The Name of Your Current Crush: Dan
Your Grades: fantastic
Something You Wish You Could Do: sing
Your Favorite Fast Food Chain: McDonald's
Something Your Parents Won't Let You Do: minimal
How Many Boyfriends or Girlfriends You've Had: none
Someone Who Has Had a Crush On You: clueless
Your Favorite Subject: English
Where You Have Made Out Most Often: haven't
A Prized Possession: Walkman
Something Your Parents Won't Let You Have: expensive
A Favorite Movie Star of the Opposite Sex: Cruise
Your Wardrobe: horrifying
What You're Looking Forward To: senior

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a completely meaningless blog post

::snort:: as if that's any different from all the others. =P

but i just saw the current weather conditions in Boston (over there, in the right sidebar) and thought it was way too cute not to share. the thing is, the way the weather changes in the northeast, if i didn't capture the image here, it would be something else entirely by the time anyone foolish enough to read this rambling ever had a chance to check it out.

and so i share with you, Windy:

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Unconscious Mutterings: April 30, 2007



Week 221

I say ... and you think ... ?

Order :: in the court!
Mortician :: ick
Determine :: decide
Ignore :: silent treatment
Guy :: girl
Train :: stupid freaking railroad corssings that hold up traffic
Garlic :: bread
Wacky :: zany
Parent :: child
Burning :: wildfire

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two things

something i wish i'd seen:
In the top of the seventh inning of a tied game, with runners on first and second, nobody out, and the count full, Chipper Jones hit a line drive at Tulowitzki, who snared the ball in flight, stepped on second to double up Kelly Johnson, and tagged Edgar Renteria between first and second for an unassisted triple play. Just to be safe, Tulowitzki fired the ball to Todd Helton at first, but three outs was sufficient on the play. (MLB.com)
an unassisted triple play that could have been *four* outs if such a thing existed?? i swear, they better show highlights of this on ESPN as much as they did A-Rod's fantastic April, and the four consecutive home runs the Red Sox hit last weekend.

something i never thought i would see:
Tavarez understands better than anyone that he is going back to the bullpen when Jon Lester [stats] completes his rehab assignment sometime in early May. His work as a starter will be done. While the current results - 1-2, 7.58 ERA - may not glisten like the numbers from the other four starters, Tavarez is as happy and proud of his role as the Red Sox are. "I won’t be surprised if I don’t make my next start or it’s the one after that," said Tavarez, who allowed three runs and three hits in his five-plus innings in the Red Sox’ 7-4 series-concluding victory. "It just makes me really happy that Jon is getting healthy and ready to help our team." (Boston Herald)
i never *ever* thought i would see Julian Tavarez as a team player. how he went from crazy Ugly EZ last season to Julian in 2007... Julian, who wants nothing more than to start, who has been so happy in his place on the rotation, but who also will go back to the bullpen & pitch for his team there, if that's what they ask of him. i don't even know what to say. but this Julian? i like him. and i am so happy he's a part of our team in Boston.

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Friday Fun: April 30, 2007

brought to you by Friday Fun

Friday Friends

1. Do you believe net friends can be as close as real life friends?

absolutely. but only if you would be great friends in real life as well. if that makes sense...

2. Do you have a best friend? Or several?
i am blessed enough to have several. i am a lucky girl.

3. Are you still close to those you went to high school with?
not really. i still keep in touch with Chele... and... that's about it.

4. Do you believe a man and a woman can truly be just friends?
absolutely.

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trying to remember that we trust the instincts of Bill Belichick



because i was completely horrified to learn that Randy Moss is officially a New England Patriot now. i guess there was a grain of truth to all those rumors after all. except i am afraid this is one i will be hoping never came true...

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

speaking of missing the perfect infield...

i miss Mark Loretta & Alex Gonzalez. i think Mark has a point here: "The second base market was real weird," Loretta said. "I think, A, there weren't many starting jobs available and there was a lot of supply. And, B, I think there's been a devaluation of the position. Teams feel they can pretty much stick anybody over there." (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

even Charlie Brown knows you need a strong SS/2B combo for turning double plays! you can click on it to see it bigger.

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two out of three ain't bad


photos from Yahoo! Sports

1. what a way to start a game. Jeff Karsten's first pitch of Saturday's game came right back at him off of Julio Lugo's bat. turns out he has a broken leg. i actually felt bad for him. yes, even though he's a Yankee. see... i want them to lose games, but i don't want to see anyone get *hurt*.


2. two more Es for Mike Lowell on Saturday. =( even the announcers said they couldn't believe how many errors he's been given that really shouldn't have been charged that way.

3. i think strike 'em out, throw 'em out double plays are so cool. The Wakabelli Show gave us one on Saturday.

4. Lowell's hit streak stopped at fourteen. no hits for him on Sunday. =(

5. Coco traded in his fro for braids. and grew an attitude! he did have a few questionable strikes called on him, but throwing his helmet & bat did deserve the ejection he was awarded.


6. this photo is truly indicative of the Sox offense on Saturday. (look carefully at what Dougie is swinging.) by the way, the bat that used to be in his hands? almost took out A-Rod, it went flying so far!


7. it's really difficult to hear that the Sox have weak defense this year. i loved last year's defensive quality...

8. after copping his attitude on Saturday, Coco showed up with a triple on Sunday! love seeing him at ease with a bat, finally. which is exactly why i felt a little panicky when he got hit by a pitch. i still don't believe he isn't made of glass.

9. finally a W for Julian. i am glad that he won't get sent to the bull pen without anything good to show for his efforts in the rotation.


10. by the way. he says it's *Julian*, not "who-lee-in."

11. Little Alex Cora. he got a triple (that missed being a home run by about two inches) & his second home run for the season on Sunday. last year, in 235 at bats, he had only one homer. Cora has a bat. Cora for SS!

12. the Dodgers finally beat the Padres (the two unofficial Red Sox Alumni Clubs!) after *seventeen* innings. that's one long game.

13. so sad to hear the news the morning of the St Louis reliever, Josh Hancock, dying in an automobile accident. he pitched for the Sox back in 2002.


14. off day for the Sox tomorrow. they've earned a day off. Tuesday it's back at Fenway. Schill faces off against the A's.

15. just because he's Youk.

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Saturday, April 28, 2007

brain candy

i was watching What Not to Wear last night. it's utterly useless tv viewing but i needed it. unlike Chele, who also watches it, i get no useful pointers on fashion for a professional. heck, i can go to work in capris & a tee, and still be the most dressed up employee. i really just watch for the sarcasm & the snark that come from Stacy & Clinton. i know they are kind of mean sometimes, but it's what they say & how they react that just cracks me up. every so often they come out with a line that kills me. last night's snark-gem? Clinton proclaiming a truly awful pair of jeans with suede "panelling" the anti-Christ.

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insuring there will be no sweep.


photos from Yahoo! Sports and the Boston Herald

1. nice of Coco to join us tonight! (translation: after Wily Mo's grand slam Thursday evening, we can't be expecting more batting heroics any time soon, and that just cannot happen against the Yankees.)

2. home plate umpire was way too quiet last night. i really prefer an umpire that makes his strike calls very obvious.

3. even as a Sox fan , i think the announcers on YES or My 9 or whatever the Yankees home station is now are very good. they do an excellent job explaining pitching & hitting fundamentals, and providing illustration from the game. they lay on the Jeter love a little thick though. that's kind of nauseating.

4. Andy Pettitte has a rather prominent ass. it can't compete with Youk's though.

5. these My 9 announcers use the word "quality" in every other sentence.

6. My 9 had much better coverage of the Sox dugout reactions than either NESN or ESPN of the four-consecutive home runs in Boston last Sunday. they did a replay & had an awesome shot of Youk bounding out of the dugout, fists pumped.

7. check in on the Coco theory that he found his bat after his tumble: two for five last night. certainly better than o-for-4.

8. a Youk homer! Youk makes me so happy. =)


9. love: Papi head down, hustling to first base. hate: Papi coming in like a plane with no landing gear.


10. freaking Lugo! what should have been a double play turned into nothing. Cora for SS! about the only time i like Lugo at all is when he's running the bases.


11. Jeter missed a diving catch in the fifth. why do i suspect that if it had been Lowell, they would have awarded him yet another error?


12. after a bad fourth inning for Matsuzaka, it was nothing short of a stroke of luck that Pettitte followed it with an even worse fifth inning performance.

13. funniest moment of the game: Lugo hit his first home run since July 27, 2006. it had been so long that he didn't even recognize it was a home run. got to first base, tagged up & the first base coach had to tell him to complete his trip around the bases!

14. no matter how badly Matsuzka struggles during an inning, he comes back out for his next one completely composed. that is really impressive, to not let it get inside your head & have it affect your game.

15. for a minute, i thought i had switched to NESN coverage when they made a call on "Pedroi-er" in the seventh. ha!

16. observation during the seventh inning stretch's "God Bless America": all these guys chewing their mouthful of choice on the ball field? it's like watching a herd of cows chewing their cud.

17. Jeter called himself safe in the seventh inning. sorry, Captain Intangibles, but the game doesn't really work like that.

18. Lowell's hitting streak remains alive! thirteen & counting!

19. whoa. the Yankees are the only team in MLB without a save?! of course, this could be a result of some major pitching issues. this was the eighth straight game using five-plus pitchers. the record is nine.

20. behold the power of Daruma! Matsuzaka walked the bases loaded with no outs in the fourth & somehow my wish for a win still came true!

21. Nichole got to see the game on NESN. she shared a bit of Remy & Don conversation that amused me, about the Japanese media that follows Matsuzaka around.
Remy: Wanna know what they were taking pictures of today?
Don: Just about everything?
Remy: The tarp coming off the field.

22 Lucky 49 today. let's hope those flutterfingers are on today! and that the bats don't snub him...

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Friday, April 27, 2007

because that's what we do. we pull wins out of our back sides.


photo from Yahoo! Sports

1. i really enjoyed the interview Thorne & Palmer did with Ernie Tyler during the game. he is an 83-year-old umpires' attendant for Oriole Park at Camden Yards. he was interesting to listen to & hasn't missed a game in Baltimore since 1960. i would love a job like that.

2. in the third inning, Aubrey Huff turned a crazy double play at first. the ball was lined right at him. he caught it for the first out & then pretty much stumbled into the bag to get Tek -- who had taken just your standard lead from the base -- for the second out. Tek had no chance of getting back to tag up.

3. my fantasy team is so happy to see Ramon Hernandez back & looking great!

4. i am more impressed with Pedroia Pocket's effort with every game. he has some nimble reflexes & plays with a lot of heart. i was skeptical with what i saw from him last season, the few games he played, but perhaps what i thought was apathy was more like shell-shock.

5. Gary Thorne *really* likes to refer to the bats as "lumber."

6. at one point during the game, Thorne & Palmer were speculating on Manny's thoughts as he played outfield. take my word for it. there is no telling what Manny is thinking, *ever*. i would be willing to bet it's not his next at bat. it's not playing the ball if it gets hit to left field. it is likely not anything to do with the game at all. i wouldn't be shocked to find he was thinking about dandelion chains though.

7. i was texting with Nichole during the game, providing her with updates, while she was at the gym. it's kind of sad when one of those texts is: WMP was just at bat. i bet i don't need to tell you what he just did. =P

8. OMG. Corey Patterson is freaking fast.

9. it makes me laugh that pitchers throw to first when Manny is there. do they really think he's going to successfully steal a base?! have they seen him run? forget about that -- have they seen him *slide*?? hmmm... maybe they are hoping to catch him daydreaming about dandelion chains...

10. most humorous moment of the game: O's intentionally pitched around Tek (who, unfortunately, struck out his other three times at bat), loading the bases, to take their chances with Whiffy Mo... who promptly knocked one out of the park for a grand slam that would win the game for Boston. that's the risk you take with him though. odds are he will K, but if he gets a hit, kiss it goodbye.


11. Mike Lowell is up to twelve games now on his hitting streak! keep 'em coming, buddy!

12. Joshy is 5-0! i didn't see that coming but woohoo!!

13. i really hope we were saving our bats for Friday-Saturday-Sunday, because i have to say, i was not impressed with the Sox overall hitting the last four days.

14. Matsuzaka's first trip to Yankee Stadium. let's hope he brings his game face. i am ready to see a hundred million dollar performance tonight.

15. please... *please* just let us win at least one game this weekend. just so they don't get to return the favor of a sweep...

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Cooperstown weighs in

here's what the Hall of Fame has to say:

Jeff Idelson, Vice President of Communications and Education for the Baseball Hall of Fame, said the Hall has no reason to doubt the authenticity of the bloody sock Curt Schilling wore in Game 2 of the 2004 World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals.
Idelson was in the visitors' clubhouse after the Sox won the World Series and asked Schilling if he would be willing to donate the specially designed shoe he wore in the game, the one in which he had inscribed "K-ALS" on the back. That was of particular interest to the Hall, Idelson said, because two Hall of Famers -- Lou Gehrig and Jim "Catfish" Hunter -- died of ALS; indeed, the disease is commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

Schilling handed Idelson the shoes, then said: "How about the sock?" Idelson readily accepted, and later that fall, the parents of Schilling's wife, Shonda, drove to Cooperstown and delivered the socks.

"We have no reason to doubt anything," Idelson said. "Curt has a pretty profound respect for the history of the game, and is cognizant of his role in it. We have known him only as someone of outstanding character."

The shoes and sock are displayed in the Hall's World Series exhibit. "And three years later," Idelson said, "the blood stain that once was red is now a hue of brown, which is what happens to blood over time."
(Extra Bases)

take it as you will. Idelson mentions the same thing i did earlier about the color of the blood. evidence sways in the direction of Schill's sock was bloody. i think i'll stick with that until someone proves otherwise.

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Thursday Threesome: April 26, 2007

brought to you by The Back Porch

::The Cola Wars?::

Onesome: The-- marketing of goods and services. ...and the things they do to try to get us to buy their products! Are there any advertisments or commercials that really stand out to you right now?
well... i like the two Sportscenter commercials they play on ESPN ("Hip hip Jorge!" and the one where Papi tried on Posada's cap & Wally sees him). i like the Chevy commercial that has the baseball theme ("What's a rally monkey?!). and the Budweiser commercial with Dale Jr ("For the last time. Just because it says Bud *on* the car doesn't mean there's Bud *in* the car.) cracks me up every time i see it. those are the only ones that are popping immediately into mind at the moment.

Twosome: Cola-- cola, cola: which cola do you drink? ...or do you? ...or the UnCola? (Do you remember that ad campaign?)
on the (extremely) rare occasion that i drink soda at all, it's usually a Pepsi for the sole purpose of a necessary caffeine boost. i don't like Coke. i think it leaves a weird aftertaste.

Threesome: Wars?-- Are there any good advertising wars going on in your area? Burgers, newspapers, ISPs?
i can't really think of any.

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all this talk. can't we just play ball?


photos from Yahoo! Sports and the Boston Herald

1. Little Alex's bid for SS continues! first home run of the year! ok, so it seems he is actually making a bid for 2B & not SS. that makes me a little sad, since i have grown rather fond of Pedroia Pocket's utter adorableness. i would much rather see Cora at short. ::chanting:: Alex Cora for SS! Alex Cora for SS!


2. Schilling got his hair cut! one less hair issue for Boston. not that i want them to be the Yuckees. i just don't understand some of the hair styles & facial hair choices being made by the 2007 Sox.

3. Sam Perlozzo doesn't do pitch counts. i find this interesting. probably because i am used to Tito, who lives & dies by the pre-determined pitch count. after witnessing the fallout of both methods, i have to say... wouldn't meeting somewhere in the middle be a better option? i think Sam left Cabrera in just a little too long. just like Tito has guilty, on many occasions, of pulling a pitcher who could probably go another inning.

4. i love that Mike Lowell is on an eleven-game hit streak. and has four home runs, second on the Sox, only to Papi. nay-sayers can zip it now. =P

5. Corey Patterson made an awesome catch to squelch Manny's bid for a homer in the ninth. (once again, another photo-worthy moment, with not one photo to be found.)

6. Yanks found a way to work in a day off before we square off again this weekend. that makes the pitching match ups a little more interesting. instead of Karstens-Igawa-Wang against Matsuzaka-Wakefield-Tavarez, now the Evil Empire is pitching Pettitte-Igawa (or Karstens, Torre hasn't made a final decision yet)-Wang. i know it will make Brian sad when i say this, since he has tickets to tonight's game, but not only would a rain out give us a precious rest day before Sox-Yankees: Round Two, but our pitching would realign to Beckett-Matsuzka-Wakefield. forecast is inconclusive though. it says "rain likely this evening. thunderstorms after midnight." that could mean we get the game in... or not. if it's not going to happen though, i hope we come to that conclusion before the first pitch. (on a purely selfish level, Grey's Anatomy is on tonight & it's new. i have the DVR set up to record, because even Grey's does not take precedence over Sox, but if the game were postponed due to rain, i could just watch it live... =P )


7. i really like Brendan Donnelly's delivery. seems so many pitchers have an exaggerated, deliberate wind up & delivery. not Donnelly. he just whips it right in there. all power & business.

8. whoa! did my boys trade off The Perfect Infield for relief pitching?! Boston's bullpen ERA is the best in the American League (and fourth over all), compared to being 25th in fielding percentage. talking about a complete 180!

9. this is sounding more & more like the return of The Glass Centerfielder. too bad since it looked like he was finally starting to come around offensively.

10. i was watching the Live StatTracker for my fantasy baseball league last night. i saw my brother's points soaring, so i went to check out what was going on. turns out he has Tim Hudson for a pitcher. eight innings, twelve Ks... and he *lost* the game, 4-3. can you imagine?! ouch.


11. then there is another team in the league who has Jake Peavy. his team lost too (Peavy ended up with a no-decision) -- after he rang up *sixteen* Ks in seven innings, including nine consecutive batters. one more and he would have tied Tom Seaver's MLB record. sixteen Ks in seven innings. sick.


12. ok. everyone in the baseball world is talking about this. here's my two cents on the matter. let me preface by saying that i really enjoyed the Orioles telecast team (Gary Thorne & Jim Palmer) last night. they were very complimentary of the Sox, had lots of praise for the 2006 Sox defense & spoke well of Alex Cora. their announcing is fair, not obscenely biased in the direction of the home team, unlike some other broadcasts i've heard (::coughcoughTampacoughcough::). they aren't as ridiculously amusing as my Rem-Dawg & Orsillo, but they announced the game well & were enjoyable in their own right. then, around the bottom of the fifth inning, Thorne came out with a curious statement -- i thought he had to be joking at the time: "The great story we were talking about the other night was that famous red stocking that he wore when they finally won, the blood on his stocking. Nah. It was painted. Doug Mirabelli confessed up to it after. It was all for PR." (The Joy of Sox) now... i haven't ever actually *seen* The Bloody Sock & i have no proof if it was blood or ink. personally? i don't care. to quote Theo (with whom i finally share an opinion): "I couldn't give two [expletives] about what was on his sock, I care that we won the game." (The Boston Globe) i will reason that whatever was on his sock was certainly bright red during the game. if it was ink, it would stay bright red. if it's blood, it would get darker & brown when it dried. simple as that. but the point is, even if it was blood, i don't care if it was Schill's or the blood of one of Papelbon's ducks, we still won the freaking game. and isn't that the point? (to clarify, i am *not* saying the blood wasn't Schill's, lest that come back to haunt me at some point in time. just saying i don't care if it was his blood, though i assume it was, until proven otherwise.) i am a little concerned that Thorne said he got the information from Dougie, whose response was: "What? Are you kidding me? He's [expletive] lying. A straight lie. I never said that. I know it was blood. Everybody knows it was blood." again, not being a witness to the supposed conversation, clearly one of them isn't being truthful, but i don't have any proof which one that would be. i think the only two that know for sure are Dougie & Thorne. Francona was pretty angry about the whole thing: "[Thorne's remarks] go so far past disappointing. Disrespectful to Schill, to his vocation. I'm stunned. I am just floored. Schill takes his share of shots, and this one is so far below the belt that I'm embarrassed and I wish somebody would have had the good conscience to ask me. I saw the leg. If that had been painted, I wouldn't have had my knuckles so white, and having so much anxiety." and our former prankster, Kevin Millar, pipes in with: "It was definitely blood. He had some stitches there. It was a hell of an injury at the time. So I think that was more [Mirabelli possibly] messing with Schilling. Like I said, I just saw blood and that was the bottom line and thank God we won that game. Blood or ink, it was a win. I mean, it was one of the single greatest performances I've ever been around." that being shared, i think it's really just time for Thorne -- and the rest of us -- to move past all this "bloody sock conspiracy," regardless of who is right or wrong. it's 2007. 2004 is done, two whole seasons ago now, and we're on a new season, one where the champion has yet to be determined. this whole issue is just stupid. it never should have gotten this far. and Thorne maybe should have just left well enough alone -- even if he is right, which i feel compelled to say, since there really is no conclusive answer at this time. what i am really worried about is that this will most assuredly not bring out the best in some of Boston's fan base, and i hate when they embarrass those of us who know how to act respectfully.

13. i am going to bask in the glory of last weekend just once more, before heading to NY to face the Yankees on their turf for the sequel tomorrow: "So what did we learn from the Yanks series? They can hit. So can we.... In a series where our starters gave up 16 runs, we still swept them. That’s not a bad thing. Say all you want about so and so is hurt, we don’t have this guy or that guy, but the games still count so no one really cares.... Obviously they aren’t at full speed due to missing Matsui, Mussina, Wang and Pavano but they are still going to win games. I just think it’s going to be tougher this year because every team in the AL East can hit, and that’s where we play a huge majority of our schedule. Having to get 3-4 innings from your pen every single night this early is catastrophic to bullpens as the season progresses. That was as big a factor this past weekend as any I think, our starters threw 20 2/3 innings and we didn’t have to drain the pen every night. Those innings will be huge later in the season." (Curt Schilling, 38 Pitches) it may only be April, but every game has the potential to count in September! and so far, i like what i see.

14. i can't help it. i still miss Trot when i see a photo like this...


15. joined at the hip. i swear. when Julian gets moved out to the pen, do you think he will ask if Daisuke can watch the game from there on his off nights?


16. Joshy & Loewen. Oriole Park at Camden Yards. 7:05pm EDT. weather permitting.

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Dawn's Thursday Thirteen, Edition Thirty-One: everything but the kitchen sink



Thirteen Things Found in My Purse Right Now



1) Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer in Nutmeg

2) Kleenex pocket pack

3) Bausch & Lomb Sight Savers Pre-Moistened Lens Cleaning Wipes

4) Shout Stain Treatment Wipes

5) Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets

6) Tide-to-Go

7) Purell Hand Sanitizer

8) Halls Vitamin C Drops

9) two pens

10) Extra Spearmint gum

11) Orajel Ultra for Canker Sores

12) Advil

13) three Band-Aids (two medium-sized, one large)


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!



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just one more thing i can't understand

i wonder... who, or more importantly, *why* would someone decide to be a telemarketer, especially in this day & age? can you remember the last time you actually listened to what one had to say? or that, thanks to the wonder that is caller id, you even bothered to pick up the phone at all? that kind of rejection has got to be bad for one's self esteem. and i wonder, also, how this is still a method of "advertising" that businesses are willing to spend money on, because i just don't see how it's really drumming up any profit for them.

this random thought brought to you by the business-related telemarketing call i just fielded here at work. and the foolish individual who thought i would actually give him the company owner's cell phone number so that the call could be placed directly.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

And I Quote: April 25, 2007

Kay (client):Thank you for taking the time to see me. You look great, by the way.
Alan: You should see me naked.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Paul: Denny... the interview for the new litigation associate...
Denny: Yeah.
Paul: What... If you're too busy...
Denny: No, no. Not too busy.
Paul: It's ok. We can... We can...
Denny: No. No, I'd like to meet him. I hear he's very good.
Paul: Yeah. He's a terrific candidate. And Denny... We don't want to lose him.
Denny: And you're afraid I'll say the wrong thing & blow it?
Paul: No, it's not that... It's uhhh...
Denny: It's uhhh... what, Paul? What?
Paul: What if *he* says the wrong thing? We're afraid you'll shoot him. We need this guy, Denny.
Denny: I'll take the interview. [Paul groans as he turns to leave.] And Paul... on your way out... when you pass the receptionist, check out the name of the firm, see whose name comes *first*.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Denny: Atta boy. I like a man who puts himself out on a limb to avoid answering a question. Of course, that makes you a Democrat.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Denise: I have occasioned myself to ask whether I really love you, deeply enough to marry you. More simply put, would I marry you if we weren't having a child together. Part of it may be because I have a tendency to look at you through other people's eyes & see you as this giant... goof head. But when I look at you through my eyes only, and my heart, I realise I do love you, quite deeply, and I can't wait to be your wife.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Denny: Anybody in America can grow up to be President -- that's what I say. Except Hilary. She wins, I puke.

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do men go through menopause?

i realize that it's getting to be warm here in the Sunshine State. we've broken 80* every day this week. and so on come the air conditioners. to be expected. but i swear they are all fanning themselves in their offices, complaining about how *hot* they are, and coming out to the thermostat (some rigged electrical thing on the wall that they flat refuse to show me how to operate) to nudge it down just a little more.

i can't take it anymore. i'm pretty sure we're down to a refreshing 34* now. my hands are turning blue. my nose is actually cold to the touch. another two degrees & a thin layer of ice will begin forming in my bottle of water.

jeez, it's freaking cold in here!! hmmm... did i just see some penguins scurry by?

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just tell me when it's over


photos from ESPN.com

1. anyone else notice Julian spends a lot of time walking around with his glove covering the lower half of his face?


2. Sox games have been tough on opposing catchers. over the last week, we saw no less than three catchers leave games: Posada, and his back up, Nieves. and last night, Gregg Zaun. note to future opponents: stock up on catchers.

3. new rule for the Sox (pay attention Lumpyhead! stop thinking about shiny objects & DQ Blizzards for just a second!): the following four Sox should nevermore be on the field at the same time - Manny. Lugo. Wily Mo. Julian. way too many opportunities to give up the game, right there. not a good game plan.

4. it's been a while since the last notable Manny mishap. and then there was last night. Manny threw rolled? a ball... you know what? i don't have the words for this so i am going to borrow the description of this physics-defying occurrence from Extra Bases: "One of Manny Ramirez' goals is to win the Gold Glove at some point in his career. Ah, well, it might not be this year. Manny fielded Lyle Overbay's shot off the top of the scoreboard beautifully in the fifth. It was actually a nice bare-handed grab, turned to throw... and what came out of his hand can not be put into proper words. He kind of choked the ball and it would up being a ground ball that went nowhere near the destination he likely had planned. Although, who knows where he was thinking about throwing it? Any way, the ball was retrieved by Dustin Pedroia somewhere in center. In the meantime, two Jays scored." these Manny Moments are a lot more difficult to swallow when he hasn't started hitting the ball out of the park yet.

5. after last night's painful 10-3 beating, you have no idea how badly i wanted to go back to calling him Ugly EZ. and i just cannot bring myself to do it. what is this new found softness for Julian?? if you had told me last year that i would be saying such things, i would have had a hearty laugh at your expense. but it seems it's not just me. there are others. Surviving Grady and Cursed to First are showing signs of this as well... i just don't think i've seen anyone want this Number Five spot so badly, be *so* happy about it... and it seems that his days remaining there are as good as numbered. i just can't help feeling bad for him...

6. i rest my case on Wily Mo Pena. after a booted, bobbled & completely hideous throwing effort -- all on the same play! -- i maintain that the man has zero grace for playing defense. combined with his excellence at striking out, remind me again how he hasn't found himself on a bus to Pawtucket yet?


7. much of the game went like this for me -- ::bangs head repeatedly on desk:: -- alternated with feeling much like Papi. the baseball gods require payment for last weekend, i suppose.


8. i vaguely recall some people worrying that Lowell's offensive resurge last year was nothing but a one-hit wonder. i would say after his home run last night, and his two on Sunday, that fears should be easing. me? i never was concerned to begin with.

9. yay for the next installment of Kevin Millar! two days of possibility for who knows what from El Bencho. good times. i always look forward to playing Baltimore, just for this.

10. after last night's game, here's what i have to say: i officially know way too much about Remy & Don's hotel habits now.

11. games like that slop fest we were subjected to last night are directly responsible for emails like this...
me (having just read this on Extra Innings): The Hall of Fame phoned the Red Sox today to ask for Jason Varitek's bat. Varitek hit the fourth consecutive home run in the third inning for the Sox in Sunday's 7-6 win over the Yankees. Varitek was happy to donate the bat. The Hall did not request the bats of Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew or Mike Lowell, who also homered.
Daniel: ::smiles:: Did Mientkewicz come flying out of nowhere demanding the bat, claiming it was his, all his??
me: Rumor has it Tek had to beat him off with that very same bat. ;-)
Daniel: I could see that. He went all crazy on him, Rally Monkey style? ("What's a Rally Monkey??") [side note: you've all seen the Chevy Truck-baseball commercial by now, right?]
me: He wore Julian's jersey while he did it though, so no one would know it was him. ;-)

12. toward the end of the eighth inning, Remy, Don & Tina started discussing how a satellite Japanese school visited Fenway earlier that day to bring gifts to Okajima & Matsuzaka. there were these really cool paper crane chains, the proper name of which i admit i do not know. that's because i promptly forgot the details when they started showing the other part of the gift: Darumas!!! i direct your attention to Monday's post, Item Five, about Sunday's game. just remember who was ahead of the curve on this!!

13. Remy got a Daruma as well. he was concerned with how it was going to possible to pack their growing collection of buddies for travel. Wally in his little chair. the bobbledesk. and now the Daruma. or as a very bewildered Remy called it: the Doomba.

14. so. to recap. this past weekend, the Sox swept the Yanks, and the Orioles swept the Jays. over the last two days, the Jays took out their frustrations on my boys & the Orioles got handled by the Athletics (but the Yankees went to Tampa to have their clocks cleaned by the Rays, the one & only time i take delight in wins for our usual AL East cellar dwellers -- which means one of two things: a) the Yanks are really *that* bad right now or b) they are going to be really angry, with something to prove, this weekend, which won't make the NY series as much fun as the Fenway one). holy run-on sentence. i had a point here, which was: the good news for Nichole, Brian & i (as well as the rest of you Sox fans), and Bart & J-Dawg (both O's fans) is that, despite our performances over the last two days, we can't *both* come away with two losses. someone has to win. weather permitting, Schill goes tonight against Daniel Cabrera.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

no rest for the weary


photo from Surviving Grady

1. yesterday, Terry Francona claimed that there was no let-down for the team after that monster weekend series with the Crankees. a) Doug Mirabelli was quoted saying the exact opposite. 2) i know *I* was tired from the adrenaline of three games that came down to the wire against a team known to pull huge comebacks out of their pinstriped backsides, and all i had to do was spectate. and d) what does Tito know anyway? we don't (lovingly) call him Fran-coma for nothing.

2. Youk continues to make me love him. he pulled off a play at 1B in the third yesterday, tipped at a bizarre angle on the bag, held onto the ball & somehow managed to suspend animation long enough to collect the out, before falling to the ground like a cut tree. i am shocked someone didn't belt out "Timber!!" as he went down.

3. never a dull game with Remy & Don. ::shakes head:: how can you have a dull game when you get introduced to such wonders as the Don & Jerry bobbledesk, complete with a Remy comb over? come on, you know you want one. =P


4. just yesterday, via email, i was discussing the merits of WMP. and his complete lack of defensive grace. it's not his fault he's so big, any more than it's Pedroia Pocket's fault he's so teeny. and, truth be told, Papi lacks grace when we send him over to play 1B during interleague match ups. but then again, we pay Mr Ortiz to DH, which he does several times over. we pay WMP to do more than just whiff at the plate 49-out-of-50 at bats. as if to spite me, Whiffy made an impressive (if not questionable) diving catch, followed by quick reflexes to return the ball to the infield, somehow pulling off a crazy double play to end the fourth inning. i thought, for sure, he was about to make me look like just another dumb girl, with an even dumber opinion, after that performance. but then the universe righted itself, and in the ninth, he was Wily Mo again, allowing a triple by inexplicably getting his legs tangled up in themselves, and landing in an unceremonious heap in the dirt of the warning track.

5. it hurts my very soul to see Mike Lowell getting awarded errors. i will agree that some of them have been fair (there have been a couple of uncharateristic wild throws), but others, i just don't see how on God's green earth *anyone* was going to make the play. he makes a valiant effort, comes up empty & then gets whacked with another error! Julio Lugo can boot baseballs all over the infield, or half-heartedly stick his glove in the general direction of a ball that was a sure double play, and *nothing* happens to him. the only thing i can think of is that whoever is scoring these games has a strange need to keep Lowell & Captain Intangibles over in the Bronx on an even keel in the error department. it can't be mere irony that they have the same number of errors on the season, right? =P

6. i finally figured out where i've seen Jason Phillips' glasses before!


dude! you're supposed to turn those in after you're done watching the "It's Tough to be a Bug!" show!

7. best interview quote - NESN featured part of an interview with Papi, in which they talked about Dougie's home runs for Wake this season. says The Big Man: "I tell him, 'Hey! Why you save all your homer for when Wakefield is pitching?' He say, 'That's the only time I play. What you want me to do?!" followed by that big Papi laugh.

8. best in-game Remy-ism: "The problem with Frank Thomas is his arms aren't big enough."

9. in the ninth, Timlin pitched up & in to Zaun. it turned into a little chin music. next pitch, Zaun sent one blazing right back at Timlin. talk about some quick reflexes to get his glove up & catch this one. if he were Matt Clement, we would have had to cart him off the field, catatonic, after that. way to go for keeping your head, Mike -- quite literally! and by the way, thanks again for wearing your socks right.

thoroughly enjoyed Surviving Grady's comment about this near decapitation: But Timlin, whose reflexes are no doubt razor sharp from keeping his neighborhood free of wild boar, feral cats and Danzig fans, snagged the line drive before it could do any damage. In fact, I almost expected him to give the ball a fierce look, take a bite out of it like a f--king apple, then hurl it into space, cursing its brethren. Because that's the kind of sh-t I like to think Mike Timlin does all the time.

10. i have determined that when Coco is out, putting WMP in center, with Manny in left & Lugo at short, creates a cavernous hole up the middle for hitters to exploit. when you live in Florida, you call that particular shape "the cone of death" -- the area that stands the potential to be assaulted by a hurricane. neither cone can bring any sense of security.

11. Tavarez versus Halladay, Part Two. we probably can't realistically get *that* lucky twice in less than a week, huh?

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And I Quote: April 24, 2007

just catching up on some online articles & columns i had bookmarked. found this gem, regarding Mark Buehrle's no-hitter from last week:

As all heaven broke loose in the aftermath, Buehrle celebrating beneath a shower of a ballplayer's favorite beverages, we were reminded of one more reason why we love this game: the delightful unpredictability that makes it compelling every single day.
(Chad Finn)

::sigh:: man, do i love this game.

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Unconscious Mutterings: April 24, 2007



Week 220

I say ... and you think ... ?

Found :: lost
Male :: female
Spoken :: words
Life :: gift
Tonight :: Boston Legal & Boston Red Sox
Fingernail :: manicure
True :: false
Give up :: release
Shining :: "honey, you are my shining star..."
Everywhere :: all over the place

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Monday Madness: April 24, 2007



1. Name a song you know most (or all) of the words to.
i know most (or all) the words to so many songs! just one? how about... "Here Without You," by 3 Doors Down.
2. Name a movie that you have watched more than once and would watch again.
Ocean's Eleven
3. Have you ever read a book more than once? Please share.
i have read many books more than once. one of my favorites is "Jewels," by Danielle Steel. i don't usually enjoy romance novels, but a few of hers -- some of the more historically based stories -- have been pretty good.
4. Share an inspirational quote with us.
"The bow too tensely strung is easily broken." (Publius Syrus)
5. What day of the week does (or did) your birthday fall on this year?
it will be on a Friday this year! i sense a long weekend (at least) coming on...
6. Have you ever bought a book or cd or movie more than once because you forgot you bought it already?
i have so few movies & cds that i don't usually forget which ones i already own. and because i read the summary of a book before i buy it (which i don't often do anymore), i haven't ever ended up with a book i already own, because i recognize that i already read it.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

i have a love-hate relationship with these games


photo from ESPN.com, the Boston Globe, the Boston Herald and me

1. i'm not proud of myself, but i have to admit, a laugh slipped out when 10K hit Slappy with that pitch. and for that i take karmic responsibility for those two runs that scored in the first inning. Matsuzaka was much more professional about this little incident, tipping his cap to Mr April in Japanese tradition.


2. you know when i knew the Yanks were in trouble? much earlier than the clips you've all seen a million times by now. it was when their rookie pitcher managed to actually walk Whiffy Mo. i wasn't even sure that was possible before now.

3. Pedroia Pocket is finally making contact! maybe they found a bat that's more his size. ;-)

4. speaking of the wee little 2B-man. in the third inning, he made a good effort at reaching for a ball, but he was just not tall enough. again in the eighth, Ol' Bluelips slapped one right over a leaping Pedroia. it's not that he isn't trying. he just can't help being so tiny. later that inning, though, he was redeemed, snatching a low line drive out of the air to end the inning & get the Sox out of a dangerous situation. if he were any taller, he probably wouldn't have been able to get there in time!




5. like any good sports fan knows, there are superstitions & personal traditions we carry out in some egotistical sense of contribution to the wins our teams achieve. RSN-West & i have been searching for something to bring good luck to our Hundred Million Dollar Man. what better than the return of Angry Lawyer, complete with Japanese Daruma to bring our new friend a little bit of help, right?


6. they talked about Mark Loretta last night & how effective he was hitting in the two-spot, with men on base. i miss Loretta. =( i know a lot of people think he was low key, but i thought he was underrated & i really liked him.

7. i love Manny home runs as much as any Sox fan, but it really drives me crazy to see him stand at home plate for 25 seconds, arrogantly watching the ball go, instead of starting the obligatory trot around the bags.

8. i know, i know. you're already sick to death of hearing about the back-to-back-to-you-know-the-drill-by-now, if you're not a Sox fan. i have to say *something* though. document for posterity or some such. if Manny's stare after his launched rocket irritated me, i quickly forgot, as Drew, Lowell & V-Tek followed suit, in a record-tying "monkey see, monkey do" home run derby -- in just *ten* pitches.

even crazier that a) when the Dodgers did this last year, JD Drew hit the second one that time too, and b) the last time this happened in the AL in 1963, Francona's father was one of the players to send it yard. i love that baseball comes full circle like this so often.

9. 6'7" Colter Bean pitching to 5'9" Dustin Pedroia. it looked completely ridiculous. wait a minute... Colter Bean?? who?! seems every other Yankee reliever that emerges from the pen is a name i've never heard before. so this is how other teams & fans felt facing Boston last year...

10. what?! a quick bathroom break & i come back to find Andy Pettitte on the mound? did i go back in time? i thought we already did this the other night... i would love to know Torre's rationale on that move.

11. the King of Doubles took it up a notch. instead of hitting for a tidy double to get on base, he doubled up on *homers* last night to put the Sox up in the seventh! now. let's not talk about him leaving us anymore, mm-kay?


12. is there anything more electric than Jon Papelbon on the mound in the ninth inning, up by one run? personal favorite quote regarding Papelbon versus Jeter: Now that's a fastball. Sit your intangibled ass down, Captain. Two outs. (Surviving Grady)

13. in oh-so-dramatic fashion, i speak of the Evil Empire as Satan's soulless minions. how fitting is it, then, that the Sox swept this series by scoring seven runs in all three games! ;-) (ok c'mon... 777... got it now? yeah, i know, it was stretch.)

14. it's not a Sox post on my blog if i don't pick on Lugo. =P doesn't it look like he's ready to belt out a round of "i feel pretty, oh so pretty..."?


15. i have to thank Touching All the Bases for two things: 1) i now have a new nickname for The Traitor: Benedict Damon. nice. and 2) this laugh-worthy description of Giambi: The man is a walking armpit. Must be a side-effect of one of his vitamins.

16. we all know the Sox swept NY. i want to take a second to applaud the Angels & the Orioles for sweeping their weekends as well.

17. Lucky 49 faces off against Ohka in five minutes. think i can make it through a game without pacing? think we'll have any bats left?

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

how sweep it is!

you know there will be more tomorrow, but for now, this will do!

Boston Dirt Dogs

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sometimes when you want it done right, you have to just do it yourself.


photos by me! =P

that's right. photos by *me*. so forgive the quality, but i wanted photos to illustrate my thoughts from this game & the internet has provided me with surprisingly inadequate options the last few games. i was forced to take matters into my own hands.

1. thank you, FOX, for reminding me just how much listening to Buck & McCarver makes me want to rip my ears from my head.


2. Robinson Cano introduced the line up for the Evil Empire. i found it thoroughly amusing to hear him say Doug Mientkiewicz in his thick Dominican accent.

3. i think one of my favorite moments from this game was Youk actually giving us today's Sox line up. how can you beat intros like: "JD 'I Hit Everything' Drew." "Coco Crisp - going over walls & getting crazy with it." and "Alex Cora - driving in runs to win ball games."

4. i had some serious fears about Joshy going into this game. the longer a pitcher goes undefeated, the higher the probability that a loss is imminent. i can't even start to express how much i didn't want that inevitable loss to be against the Yanks. he was a bit Jekyll & Hyde out there, but the fact is... he's 4-0 in four starts now. and if you can come away after a performance like that against the Yankees with a notch in the W column, that's something pretty special. standing O earned, Joshy. keep it up.


5. ::gasp:: Papi has *got* to stop with the sliding. i am going to repeat myself every time he does it. he's either finally going to get the message or it hopefully it will serve as a desensitization process for me.

6. happy birthday to Tito today! when they did an in-game interview with him yesterday, they wished him an early birthday. he said he felt 48 going on 70. great, Tito! now imagine how RSN feels! you put up with watching the guys on the team. we have that with a healthy serving of "what the hell is Francona thinking?!" on top.

7. second inning: 2 bunts by 2 fast runners = 2 guys on base. both managed to score. thanks Coco & Alex!

8. these announcers *really* need to stop talking about Mike Lowell being gone after this year. it causes me much undue distress.


9. theory revisted: i speculated that Coco found his bat when he took that tumble into the pen, going after Slappy's second homer off Schill on Friday. remains to be seen if i am correct, but i present to you Exhibit A:

and for fun, i *told* you Coco makes faces at the plate:


10. here's another theory to test: you can't see the wiggle action in the photo, but he's doing it. and i think there is a direct correlation between the presence of Youk's ass wiggle & hitting the ball. ass wiggle = hits for Youk.


11. i would say Joshy wasn't thrilled with his performance. sure, he's had better, but it's not like he went out there & picthed like he did last year!



12. wouldn't you say there are few things more satisfying as a Sox fan than seeing this expression on Greasy McSquarehead? the classic strike out face.


13. just cuz.


14. ::giggle:: look! he practices it in the bullpen!

and while we're on the subject of The Face, here it is, in all its intimidating glory -- of course, with Tek behind the plate.


15. it makes me so sad when Youk makes an out. not because it means an out for my boys, but because he takes it *so* hard. =( looking at that, you'd think he just Kd for the fifth time this game, instead of going 2-for-4 with an RBI, a walk, and scoring two runs.



16. i can think of a couple people who might appreciate this "Fenway fan shot"... ;-)


17. mark it the books, folks. that's two down. one more left.


18. oops! gotta go! bring on the 10K! GO SOX!

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